Irritation

  
     A mosquito buzzing around your ear then bites and makes you itch, an inconsiderate pain in the neck wasting your time or driving like an idiot, commercial interruptions, obnoxious politicians, annoying phone calls, bad weather, allergies, broken promises - anything that pushes you out of your comfort zone, that impedes your chosen journey, or disrupts your way of thinking can become an irritation.
     Sometimes, irritation is good, a signal that we need to pay attention to something physical or mental.  Our bodies often warn us of potential dangers; our minds may need to grow and develop.  By only listening to what we want to hear and reading what we already agree with, communication and understanding are reduced.  When something irritates you, get beyond the emotion and try to solve the problem.
     We hope, however, that we are not a cause of irritation when we communicate our ideas, that we aren't condescending or insulting when presenting our point of view.   When people get irritated, they may swat you away like a mosquito.
         

Holy Days and Holidays

     A holy day is a time of religious observance, honoring a past event or miracle with worship, praise, and prayer, songs and symbols, fast and feast.  A holiday is a vacation from work and school,  perhaps coinciding with a holy day of the predominate religion of a country, a time for reunion of family and friends or a time for rest and peace.
      You may be celebrating a holy day, a holiday, neither or both.  Enjoy all the days of the year, the special days and the ordinary.
      Happy Holidays!  

Radical

     Human beings have the brain power to think logically and to survive as individuals and as a society.  Our brains, however, have a weakness to be consumed by extreme radical beliefs which bypass logic and at times become lethal.  Humans can become radicalized and attempt to radicalize others.    
     So easy  to label a terrorist as radical.  Their beliefs stem from a literal or misinterpretation of the Koran.  Their mind is fixed on destroying non-believers or anyone who is a supposed threat to their group.  Their convictions can lead to murder and suicide.  Also easy to see how some people become consumed to abuse, murder, and mass murder.
     Not so easy to see how we may also be radical.  We may not be as extreme as some, but sometimes we have radical thoughts stemming from religious and political beliefs.  We don't condone murder or suicide but are willing to go to war on anyone who is a threat to our group.  Some people's minds may be fixed on limiting the rights of women and LGBT and pressuring government to make or change laws based on their interpretation of scriptures. Limiting a person's rights is limiting their life.  Some people may wish to further the ideas of creationism and other miracles rather than promote science. Denying scientific facts can limit intellectual progress.
     Some people have other radical beliefs based on stereotypes of other groups and often use propaganda to further their own causes.  Fear can strengthen prejudice.  Anytime we berate another group of people, our radical side begins to show.
     No one wants to think of themselves as extreme; they just see themselves as right, labeling other people as wrong.  It's always someone else who is radical.
 

Compartmentalize

     No matter how good you think you are at multitasking, our bodies, brains, and emotions can only handle so much at once.  We need to compartmentalize to deal with the past, present, and future and to organize conflicting opinions and choices.
     Focus on the present, on the task at hand.  Prioritize your time and energy.  Limit emotional reactions that slow progress.  Keep the past where it belongs so it doesn't taint the present.  Keep the future as a goal that may be planned to reduce stress and worry.
     Many experts say be present and appreciate the moment, but sometimes the present has many facets competing for our attention.  Too much to do; too much to think about.  We need to prioritize, even delete some activities, then try to handle the essentials.  We can learn from the past, forgive ourselves and others, and enjoy memories, but we must not dwell there.  We can think about the future but not let it consume us.
     We can have co-existing conflicting opinions or find ourselves changing our minds.  We may never have complete faith in just one idea.  This can be an asset that leads to understanding others and gaining wisdom.
    By compartmentalizing, separating and categorizing our thoughts, we can focus and make progress in our lives.  This will help us cope and reduce stress and worry.

Pushed

  
     When your inner voice is saying "Slow down, stop!" you may begin to realize you are being pushed by someone or something.  As you are pushed to do what you really don't want to do or guided in a direction you don't want to go, listen to your own common sense.  Guide yourself toward your own goals at your own speed.
     Many outside influences benefit from your acceptance of being pushed around.  Other people want you to go with their flow.  Family, friends, commerce, religion, and society want you to take the route they have planned for you.  You may not even realize how their motives are pushing you.
     We need to take some quiet time to allow our thoughts and opinions to develop.  The right time or a good time may not present itself.  Unnecessary activities may take the place of what we really want to do or take the place of just doing "nothing."  Obligation may seem a requirement to do the bidding of others.  When push comes to shove, a big part of our lives may go by without our conscious consent.
     You may also wish to push others to do things your way.  Your confidence in deciding what is best for children and adults may make them less confident in making their own decisions.  We need to honor everyone's opinions, not just our own.     
    Slow down, stop, and take a stand.  Don't allow yourself to be pushed around.
  

December

     December is full of myth and magic.  We believe the myths to feel the magic.  When we grow up, we learn to get our happiness from appreciating the wonders of the real world.
     Children are taught the myth of Santa Claus: if you are good and make a list of stuff you want, a magical creature will bring presents that make you happy.  As you grow up, you learn that  people buy the presents which may make you happy temporarily.
     Retailers try to teach us the myth of consumerism: the more you spend, the more happiness you can give.  As you wise up, you learn that spending more than you can afford causes problems and that giving and receiving gifts is not essential for happiness.
     Other myths promise magic.  Many people celebrate supernatural events of the past and have faith that gifts will be bestowed in the future. 
     No matter what our age, we believe in the magic of December. 
    
     
         

End Up

   
     Many parents want their kids to have a better life than they do: a better education, to develop their unique talents and potential, a rewarding career, marriage if they choose, a child/children when and if they want one/them, a satisfying life, financial security, time for fun, a healthy mind and body, and a long life.
    Looking back on our lives, we appreciate the good things and accept what we cannot change. We analyze how we could have made better decisions.  We want to help our children realize the many choices they have and enable them to make the best decisions.  To end up like us may not be so bad; to end up worse off than us would not be our dream.
     Looking back on our parents' lives, we appreciate the good things and accept what we cannot change.  We may wish they had made different decisions regarding our childhood but realize they probably did the best they knew how.
     Whatever we feel we missed out on in our childhood, whatever we didn't do that we could have,  we may still have the time and opportunity to change the way we want to end up.

The Brain

 
     The PBS series "The Brain with David Eagleman" shows how the brain perceives reality, contains our thoughts, emotions, memories, and personality, controls unconscious and conscious actions, coordinates reason and emotion to make decisions, enables social interaction, and gives us the power to design the future.                                                               .
     Eyes receive light, ears receive sound, all our sensors send signals to the brain which makes sense of it all.  We take in what we need to know.  Reality is whatever your brain tells you it is.
     Humans are born helpless taking longer than any other species to become adult, but we have superior power to learn and adapt.  Our brain forms thoughts, emotions, memories, and personality.  Our predetermined genetic schedule enables us to develop and focus.  Throughout our teen years, we learn to make better judgments, control impulses, and avoid unwise risks.  Memories accumulate, fade with time, and are sometimes unreliable.  Our genes, experiences, and memories are unique.  No one like you has ever existed or ever will live again.  Cradle to grave, we are works in progress.
     The brain controls actions, decisions, and beliefs.  Automatic, unconscious operations enable our organs and muscles to function "without thinking."  We consciously organize our thoughts, make choices, and become long-term planners.  Input from our DNA plus our environment of family, friends, and culture combine to form belief systems in our brain.
     Reason and emotion systems work together in the brain.  We place value and prioritize options in order to make decisions.  Our genes pre-program us to be conservative or liberal, to make predictions, and to resist or suppress instant gratification.  Decisions are made in the brain.
     We are social creatures and are wired to help each other.  We learn how to communicate, to judge other people's intentions, and to trust.  Our abilities to form social skills, read body language, and develop empathy reside in the brain.  Belonging to a group promotes comfort and survival; however, identifying with our "in group" (same race, wealth, and religion) can make us not care, avoid, or even dehumanized our "out group."  Propaganda can warp opinions and promote hate of those groups different from our own.  If our species is to survive, we need to care about each other.
     100,000 years ago, humans were primitive hunters and gatherers.  Evolution enabled our brains to have flexibility, to think of multiple things at once.  The brain has plasticity to change and reorganize itself, to learn and remember new things, and to adapt to compensate for lost function in the event of brain injuries.  We still can be fooled by dreams while asleep, but within seconds after we awaken, our brain receives sensory signals, our body functions, we think, remember, and plan.  Humans have invented technologies that can expand the senses, replace body parts, and extend life.  Through computer technology, we have invented artificial intelligence, artificial brains.  Who we become in the future is up to us.

Copycat

     Babies naturally copy language and behavior which is a good thing.  Teenagers often want to be different from their parents' generation then copy the fads of their peer group.  Adults need to be aware when they are still copying their peer group instead of thoughtfully forming their own beliefs and behavior.  We can become the product of group mentality which may or may not be the best use of our time, talent, and energy.
     Copycats follow the lead of others and imitate their beliefs and actions.  From dumping ice water over their heads to mindlessly repeating family and religious traditions, we are following instead of creating a more meaningful life.  Being comfortable and not rocking the boat often supersedes taking the time to think before we act, plan before we fall into line, and analyze the systems laid out by family and friends.
     Show your children by example how to resist fads and meaningless traditions, and when they are old enough, encourage them to be independent even when it means going against what you expect them to do.  They will respect you more when you respect them.  If we want leaders instead of followers, if we want original thinkers and courageous planners, we must discourage copycat behavior.
     Don't be one of the dim bulbs.  Let your unique light shine.
  

Illusions

      Our senses occasionally give us deceptive impressions: a mirage in the desert, a magic trick, electronic music sounding like "real" instruments, food tasting "just like chicken," chemicals making air and clothes smell clean.
     Our imagination can also cause us to confuse fact and fiction which can be entertaining, self-deluding, or dangerous.  Physical and mental conditions can cause hallucinations, seeing or experiencing what is not really there.
     We may have illusions about other people and our relationships.  Others may intentionally want us to see things their way, to trust them more than our own good sense.   We may want to create our own illusions by using products that promise to make us look taller, thinner, and younger.  We may pretend or hide the truth about our lives.
     Some illusions settle into our brains so deeply that we consider them facts.  Fantasy and wishful thinking can block reality.  Try to break through your illusions.

Hooked

     Bait on the hook causes a fish to bite into something then get trapped even unto death.  This physical bait, a real piece of protein or a plastic replica, lures the fish to grab onto something that has an underlying danger.  The hope of satisfying hunger is dashed.  A fish doesn't have the ability to recognize the hook.  Good for the fisherman; bad for the fish.
     Our basic needs must be satisfied, but often we latch onto bait and get trapped into false promises.  If we don't learn to recognize reality, we get hooked on dangerous thinking.  Bait comes in different forms, usually promising to satisfy needs or creating needs that don't really exist.  Advertising for products and services, propaganda to form opinions, campaigns for politicians, and emotional pressure from family, friends, and religion, all use bait to get us to believe a certain way.  When we believe the bait satisfies our needs, we may ignore reality and buy into something that is a waste of time and money. We may get hooked.
     Getting unhooked is very difficult.  We may have to evaluate preconceived notions, set aside prejudices, form new opinions, and redesign our behavior.  We do have the ability to recognize the hook.  Good for everybody.
 

Off The Deep End

     The deep end of the pool is for swimmers only.  Jumping into anything before you are ready could cause you to be in over your head.  You may go off the deep end with illogical thinking or extreme emotions.  You may judge others who seem to have gone there.
     When the deep end seems so appealing, perhaps a respite from reality, we may choose to dive in and encourage others to follow.  Other people may also encourage us to jump into something without thinking.  Reality can seem so harsh that we want to go places in our mind to get relief.  Instead of learning to live within the confines of our natural environment, we may yearn for a shortcut to avoid logical thinking.
    The better we learn to swim, the better we will survive.  The better we learn to think, the better we will handle the challenges of life.  The more emotionally mature we become, the better we will act like rational adults.  Beware that you don't go off the deep end.

November

  
     Our harvest celebration is Thanksgiving.  Even though we now have access to food all year long, we gather together on this day and have a feast.  Our traditions include retelling the myth of the first Thanksgiving and having some of the foods we think they ate that day like turkey, cranberries, and pumpkin.  Often the real history of our country's early years is white-washed.  We pale-faces enjoy our myths.
    The first immigrants left the old world to have freedom and a fresh start.  The Indians taught the Pilgrims ways to live off the land, but the newcomers treated the indigenous people very badly and continued to do so for many generations.
     The new world allowed freedom of religion, and today many people add religious meaning to this feast day, thanking and praising God from whom all blessing flow.  We should share our abundance so that no one goes hungry on this day or any other day.  Inequality of income enables some people to have more to be thankful for than others.  You may believe that God will provide, but we must help provide for each other.
    We should remember that all of us were immigrants a few generations ago, and many other people of the world want that status now.   Praise our country who can offer freedom and sustenance to all.  Please support and vote for government representatives who will do something positive about immigration reform and income inequality.   

"Belief"

  
     While discussing her documentary series "Belief," Oprah Winfrey stated, "We're all yearning for the same thing, but we have different ways and different approaches to doing that."
     All around the world, many people have a yearning to satisfy similar needs: define personal identity and purpose; find meaning in life; be a part of something bigger; feel whole and strong; receive and give unconditional love and compassion; make sense of and handle sorrow, hardship, adversity, tragedy, pain, and grief; receive and give forgiveness, wash away sins, let go of the past, and make things right; increase self-discipline and be good; make a fresh start and move forward with hope; obtain answers to questions about the mysteries of the universe; feel calm, peace, and joy.
     We all have different ways to satisfy these yearnings.  This documentary series shows a multitude of religions that believe in a spiritual power who creates, provides, protects, and helps with physical and emotional needs plus gives answers to the big questions. People around the world use meditation, prayer, scriptural study, traditional ceremonies, and group activities as part of their belief.
     Your religion may be portrayed in this series, or you may have a different religious or non-religious approach to life.  You may have your answers or you may still be in the process of  defining your belief.      
         

Black Cats

      Superstition gives black cats an undeserved bad name.  They were believed to be the companions of witches or to be witches in disguise.  One folk belief is that if a black cat crosses your path, bad luck may come to you.  Magic seems to be involved.
     Even today, these thoughts can cross our minds when we see a black cat.  White cats are 2.7 times more likely to be adopted than black ones.  We pride ourselves about not having superstitions, but many of our beliefs concern luck, magic, and miracles.  Often a predominant religion in a culture believes they have the facts and judge other religions as containing superstition or irrational magical thinking.
     Superstition can invade our thinking.  When illogical beliefs from the past are repeated as truth, when luck, magic, and the supernatural prevail, when innocent people and creatures are slandered, our society may become just as troubled as the witch hunters of years ago.
     Look to the day when creatures will not be judged by their color, but by the content of their character.   

             
     
        

Witch

     Look beyond the stereotype of an evil woman in black and think about why this character was invented.  Fairy tales and folklore paint a picture of an old, unattractive woman living on the fringes of society who was accused of using magical powers.  People were leery of an independent woman who didn't fit in with patriarchal religious groups.
     From Eve to Hester Prynne, women have been accused of being influenced by the devil when they didn't abide by "the rules."  Today, we still are unsure about women who dare to live a nontraditional lifestyle or don't conform to what we think is proper.  We may not call them witches; we think we are too evolved for that.  But, when a woman is strong, powerful, and independent, we use another term that rhymes with witch.
     You would think after all these years of women's lib, men and women could welcome the same positive traits in both sexes; however, we still give more honor to the traditional stereotypes.  Many men want the little woman to cater to his needs, and some woman feel more feminine doing so.
     Ding, dong, the witch is dead.  We know that is all make-believe, but some women still get labeled with that rhyming word.      

Ghosts

 
     What's dead is buried, permanently gone, never to walk the earth again, or maybe not.  Some people believe they have seen or felt the presence of a dead person, a ghostly image, an unexplained draft of cold.  How upsetting it must be to think that spirits of the dead may exist among us.  Some people, however, get  comfort in thinking that dead loved ones can hang around to help and protect the living and that we can communicate with relatives after they have died.  We don't want to accept the idea that once people die, they are gone.
     Other types of ghosts can roam around in our thoughts and influence our behavior.  These ancient ideas should have died, never to inhabit our minds again.  We may strive to bury outmoded, irrelevant, useless thoughts, but they may be haunting our thinking, allowing prejudice and faulty reasoning to influence our opinions.  We may hear the voices of our ancestors stating their opinions as facts.  Our memories keep their thoughts alive.
     We need to see reality.  The past is gone.  The present and future belong to the living.  Don't let ghosts cloud your vision.

Routine and Tradition

     For many people, routine and tradition reduces anxiety.  The comfort and security of knowing what's coming next reduces the necessity of thinking through something new.
     We all have routines that get us through the day as we complete necessary tasks while dealing with occasional new challenges.  Annual traditions like celebrating the same holidays in the same fashion promote a common identity with family, friends, and society.  Religious traditions, rituals, and ceremonies connect us to the past, reinforce beliefs, and reduce fears.  Recreating the past promotes conformity and nostalgia.
     Traditional activities may reduce anxiety and make us feel better temporarily, but perhaps we should face anxiety and develop the best ways to handle it.  Many events are out of our control; many questions will have no answers.  Feeling anxiety may be a sign that changes need to be made in the way we think or in the way we do things.  Then we can redesign our lives.  Resorting to activities invented  years ago or by generations past may hamper our ability to clearly see the present and future.
     If you don't like your routines, if you feel traditions don't satisfy your needs, if you don't like it, change it.        

Mental Health

     Murder, suicide, extreme violence, all seem to stem from poor mental health.  Even though we may not be prone to such extreme behaviors, our own mental processes may not be as healthy as they should be.
     Faulty information can flow into our minds, contaminate our thinking, and influence our behavior.  Our sense of logic needs to prevail to curtail the manipulation of others.  We need to welcome and search for useful and true information.  We also need to increase our emotional maturity, self-respect, and respect for others.
     Good parents teach their children to think and become civilized.  When children or adults show  signs of poor mental health, their families and associates should assume responsibility to get them professional help.  Counseling and medication may be required.
     Please, when you know someone who has poor mental health, don't give them access to a gun!
   

Needy

     Because children require physical, emotional, and financial support, they are understandably needy.  Because of poor financial situations or ill health, some adults are also needy.  Other adults seem to be emotionally needy, requiring attention beyond what is best for them and those around them.
     As social creatures, human beings need a certain amount of healthy interaction with each other.  We need someone to love, support, and understand us; however, we should be aware when we expect too much from others or when others expect too much from us.  Sometimes the ties that bind are a little too tight when individuals become too dependent on each other to satisfy emotional needs.
     Independence and self-sufficiency may never be completely developed when one person in a relationship remains emotionally immature while the other becomes almost parental.  The needy person may become demanding and manipulative, often overreacting or sulking, skills that may have been used in childhood which never evolved into adult behavior.
    On  the other hand, some people may strive to be self-sufficient and seldom reach out for help, not wanting others to feel obligated or burdened.  They certainly don't want to resort to emotional appeals but wish to handle their own challenges and not appear needy.
     Obviously, people should help each other, while encouraging emotional maturity in all parties.  Don't remain a child or enable someone else to act like one.   Relationship can be damaged when we are too needy.   
         
        
      

October

     Delight in nature's spectacle before the leaves fall.  As the green departs, the brilliant colors appear for a few weeks, then the leaves dry and fall to the ground enriching the soil and feeding the trees.  All will rest until spring.
     Here in the deep south, we don't have many trees that produce fall color.  In October, we plant cool season annuals: alyssum, dianthus, pansies, and snapdragons, just to name a few.  These blossoms thrive until summer heat returns.
     The versatile pumpkin arrives in October which can turn into a pie or a jack-o-lantern.  Halloween ends the month with trick or treat.  
      
    

Self-sacrifice

   
     Giving up your life, helping others meet their needs while yours are not met, developing the potential of others while curbing your own, risking your life even to the point of death - this idea of self-sacrifice should be questioned.  We need to consider what individual, group, or cause is benefited when we sacrifice ourselves.
     Governments benefit when soldiers are willing to kill the enemy and risk injury and death for a cause decided upon by others.  Parents who sacrifice so the next generation can reach their potential may only be teaching their children to continue the pattern of procreation as the ultimate goal instead of developing their own potential.  Down through history, servants and women have been pressured to serve their masters, their husbands.  The powerful often flourish at the expense of underlings.
     Many religions are based on putting aside "selfish" needs even unto death.  Giving up your life in order for someone else to live and develop is seen as the highest act of love.
     Religious or not, you have one life here on earth, a few decades to know and love yourself in order to survive, develop, and be all you can be.  The Army uses this slogan to encourage young people to give up years of their lives to develop military skills that will certainly benefit the goals of the army first, the individual second.
     Value your life; don't give it away.  You are as important as anyone else and need to use your freedom to develop your own path.  As people develop their own potential, they will be much more equipped to benefit society.

Regret

     Is regret the best reaction to something you did in the past?  Are you being disloyal and casting a shadow over your former self because of something you did or didn't do?
     Perhaps you or someone else suffered unpleasant consequences of your past decisions or actions.  Perhaps the person you are now with added experience and wisdom would make a different decision.  They say hindsight is 20/20; a better viewpoint now than in the past.  Many people think, "If only I had _____, things would be different or better."  This wishful thinking is a useless waste of time.
     Many religions want you to focus on past sins and be repentant.  Some people need a god to forgive them; some learn to forgive themselves.  Better yet, just realize you may have made mistakes, but at the time you had your reasons.  Perhaps you will do it differently in the future.
     What's done is done. We can't change the past or make up for history.  Negative emotions and apologies will not erase or negate the past.
     Now is now.  Accept your personal history as stepping stones toward tomorrow.  The path is never perfect.  You may have slipped along the way, but you made it to today.  Don't regret it. 

September

     We look back on a long, hot summer and forward to a season of harvest, new TV programs, and football.  Nature provides us with food and fall colors.  TV reruns are making way for something new.  Football fans have high hopes for their favorite teams.
     Many of us look back on a busy family life and forward to a slower paced retirement.  We reap the harvest of jobs well done, children grown, and added generations.  We have the opportunity to start something new and exciting.
     The days grow short when you reach September.  The end of the calendar is much closer than the beginning.  Get as much joy as possible out of all the seasons.  Also, give as much joy as possible in these precious days.
    

Beliefs

     Trace your opinions back to your basic beliefs of what is true but cannot be proven.  Each person has their own viewpoint based on family upbringing, religious tradition, and personal experience.  When opinions of many people are grouped together, a wide spectrum exists.
     Creationism according to Genesis; the Big Bang theory with or without supernatural cause; laws of nature;  Adam and Eve; evolution of all creatures;  survival of the fittest physically and intellectually who can adapt.
     Revelation recorded in inspired scriptures recording history and creating values, morality, and laws of behavior; various religious scriptures written by human beings including myths, folklore, and preferred behavior in their particular society; groups of people inventing systems of morality for survival of civilization; universal values of right and wrong.
     Contact with God through meditation and prayer; supernatural events and miracles down through history and including today; laws of nature explain events;  plan designed by God for each individual; individual responsibility to design own goals; acceptance of the unknown.
    Trust in own family, culture and religion to have the truth; compare religions for similarities and differences; trust own personal opinion; religion is man-made.
     Where do you fit on the spectrum?  What do you believe?

Satisfied

     When you really appreciate the present moment and for now, don't need anything else, you are satisfied.  Perhaps after a job well-done, a delicious meal, or a close encounter with a loved one or being in the presence of friends and family, you feel your needs have been fulfilled.  Your mind and body can relax and be satisfied.
     When thoughts begin to shift to the future and we start to yearn for something else, we may begin to slip out of contentment.  This may be a positive step toward sustaining and improving our future; however, this can be a negative step toward stress and focusing on what else we want.  If our expectations are too high or unrealistic, we may head for disappointment.
     We can help each other toward contentment and that can be satisfying.  Sometimes out of necessity or ill health, we must depend on others to meet our needs, but we should try to regain independence as soon as possible.  Sometimes, others expect us to aid in their satisfaction, but we must not enable their dependence.
     Many people are not satisfied with their lives on earth and feel they need additional help from the spiritual world.  They may not be satisfied with an independent life well-lived as a creature of the natural world but desire to live forever.  For them, complete satisfaction only occurs after death. 
      We can improve our lives by accepting each moment of reality and increase our ability to roll with the punches which are mostly out of our control.  By calming our fears and gearing our behavior toward doing what is best for ourselves and others, we can sustain contentment.  Try to be satisfied with today and hope for a good tomorrow.  Take responsibility to make your tomorrows as satisfying as possible.  Train your mind to be satisfied.

Suspicion

     A feeling or thought that something is possible, likely, or true or that something or someone is questionable or wrong, suspicion makes us cautious while getting more information and discovering the truth.  When something seems too good or too bad to be true, we need to be suspicious.
     Our former experiences and beliefs can help or hinder our suspicions.  These suspicions can turn out to be true or false.  We can be blinded when we want to believe the best in those we like or want to believe the worst in those we dislike.  Holding on to past beliefs may be preferable to changing our minds.  We can hold on to faulty opinions and not get to the truth.  Even when truth presents itself, we may not want to believe it.
     We may prefer to make snap judgements before all the facts are in.  More reliable decisions require patience and consideration of many points of view.  We can be manipulated to be suspicious by others who have their own agenda.  They may wish to darken the reputation of their opponents. 
     A good detective searches for facts which can lead toward suspicions of a person's guilt or innocence.  Before making judgements, proof needs to be established.  A wise person searches for facts before making decisions about people and beliefs.

Chain of Command

     For a big portion of our lives, we are links in a chain of command. Those in authority at the top have control and give orders to those below.  Parents have authority over children.  Bosses have authority over employees. The military is only as effective as its chain of command. Most religions have their hierarchy of popes, priests, pastors, and parishioners. They all claim to be under the command and control of the highest authority.
     Many people get accustomed to allowing others to have authority over their lives.  They get comfort from someone else being in charge and making the rules.  When they follow the rules, they may believe a reward is in store.  Being independent and taking responsibility to make your own decisions doesn't seem as safe as having a stronger, wiser authority figure.
     A chain only works when all the links are connected.  Some chains, unfortunately, are oppressive and restrictive.  A link who breaks away is made to feel weak, disloyal, and a danger to the perpetuation of the chain.  Sometimes, however, we need to break away to freedom. 
     Don't let others pull your chain.  Design your own chain of events.
       

Freedom

     We live in the land of the free.  If we want to remain free, we need to  allow other citizens to be free.  We can decide to limit our own freedom according to our own values, but we must allow others to do the same.  We cannot expect others to limit their freedom according to our values.  In fact, limiting freedom is not the American way.
     As citizens, we agree to obey basic laws of conduct.  We can decide what is legal and what is illegal.   We can change the laws as we progress and evolve.  This is the democratic way.
     Beware of political candidates who want to limit freedom and impose their value systems onto others.  Keep America free where citizens can form their own value systems, choose their own mates, and plan their own families.

From the Inside Out

     Thoughts originate in us in two ways: from the inside and from the outside.  A baby feels hunger, cries out, tastes milk, fills up the stomach, and learns that milk is satisfying.  Instincts propel the baby to crawl, walk, and talk.  The baby is using its own brain, learning and thinking from the inside.
     The young child learns to trust its parents and absorbs their thinking from the outside.  Teachers, pastors, and other "experts" also introduce thoughts from the outside.  Societies, religions, and governments depend on people to accept their thinking and opinions.  Often, people are discouraged to think beyond what the "experts" have decided.  People are seldom encouraged to think for themselves and have confidence in their own brain power.  We get the message that going against authority figures is disloyal.  We  should tow the line, follow the leader, and not rock the boat.  Often, our individuality is not valued.  All of this thinking comes from the outside into ourselves.
     Of course, we still need the helpful thinking coming into us from the outside, but we need to be able to decide what to absorb and what to discount.  We have the instincts and capabilities we were born with, but we need to mature.  To reach our potential, we need to realize that we are the experts of our own brain and that our thinking is as valuable as anyone's.  We need to gain confidence in what is inside us.  When we trust ourselves, we can share what we think to others, from the inside out.
 

Debates

     Over 2000 years ago, Aristotle proposed three basic ways to persuade others to agree with you: ethos (character of the speaker), pathos (emotional appeal), and logos (logical reasoning.)  Recently, journalists have been giving advice on how to win political debates.  We can translate these ideas into improving our own conversations, speeches, and written opinions.
     Huffpost Politics: Say something distinctive.  Define yourself succinctly.  Be presidential.
     The Wall Street Journal: Convey in word, tone, and demeanor - two or three points for viewers to remember - and a little humor helps.  Appearing confident, comfortable, reassuring, and knowledgeable can be every bit as important as saying the right thing.  Viewers are looking for a real person, not a performer.
     Effective debaters need to understand their audience, show concern for them, and gain their trust.  Speakers and writers need to sound sensible and logical when presenting their opinions.  Showing the right amount of emotion and even humor can help promote a point of view.
     When you watch political debates, notice what the candidates say and how they say it.  You can use these techniques when presenting your own ideas.

        

August News

     Some kids have another month of vacation while others head back to school the first week of August.  Older students are getting ready to leave home to begin or continue college.
     Not all countries have this extended summer vacation but view education as a year-round pursuit.  Some American parents are beginning to wonder if long school breaks are the best use of time.  Many educators witness how some students need to spend the first weeks of school relearning what they forgot over summer vacation.
     So what to do with the days before school takes up besides shopping for clothes and school supplies?  Encourage play, curiosity, imagination, and creativity.  Provide experiences with other people and places.  Have children volunteer or get a part-time job to help with expenses and get a taste of the adult world.  Promote reading and writing.  Get prepared for the school schedule, going to bed and waking up earlier and eating a good breakfast. 
     We all need a break from the stress and routine of our typical schedules.  Finish the summer vacation ready to go back to school and work, refreshed to continue developing our minds and talents.
      

"To Kill a Mockingbird" and "Go Set a Watchman"

     "To Kill a Mockingbird" was published in 1960; "Go Set a Watchman" was published in 2015.  Both are thought to have been written in the late 1950s.  "Mockingbird" describes life in southern Alabama in the 1930s through the eyes of Jean Louise Finch (Scout) aged 6-8 years old; "Watchman" describes her return to her hometown in the 1950s at age 26.  She discovers the complexities of her father and her town.
     Scout, like most young children, trusted and believed that her father knew the truth and lived accordingly.  As an adult, she grew to realize that he, like most parents, are wise at times and also prejudiced and mistaken at times - not perfect.  We all are a product of our generation, our environment, and our upbringing.  We can evolve and get beyond the mistakes of the past.
     Paternalism comes in many forms.  Our parents watch over and control our young lives.  Our religion holds a similar power.  Government also steps in to protect and guide us, making and upholding laws, restricting some behaviors while guaranteeing rights.  When we try to understand other points of view then gain confidence in our own opinions, we can assume control over ourselves and realize that "every man's watchman is his conscience."
   

FOUR

     A society is divided into five factions to focus on eradicating specific evils.  Candor attempts to diminish dishonesty; Erudite, ignorance; Amity, aggression; Abnegation, selfishness; Dauntless, cowardliness.  At age 16, young citizens are free to construct their own identity by choosing a faction in which to live, staying in the same one as their parents or selecting another.
    After Tobias chose his faction, he learned that unlike most teens with many fears, he only had four: heights, claustrophobia, his abusive father, and becoming too violent.  He then received his new name Four and his journey to adulthood began.  He learned to shed all the people who wanted to form and shape him and instead began to form and shape himself.  He grew to discover that bravery is the highest form of wisdom and that life should be lived without fear.  As he learned about trust, love, and loyalty, he became free.
     Each faction required it's members to conform in dress and behavior and adopt an exaggerated form of virtue.  This narrow-minded thinking sliced away at all the different parts of the individual.  This society could not continue to succeed.

Jaded

      Many centuries ago, a jade stone was thought to be a cure for colic when placed on a baby's stomach.  Jade was also a label for a worn-out mare or woman, often ill-tempered.  We think of jade as an ornamental stone or even a name for boys and girls.  Depending on how you look at it, this word can refer to indigestion, exhaustion, or beauty.  Today, being jaded has a different connotation.
     After being overexposed to certain ideas and manipulations, a person can get burned out and disillusioned.  Once illusions are shattered, new opinions can arise and truth can refresh the mind.  New opinions may not be as comforting and calming as former ideas, but perhaps our security blankets need to be pulled away so that we can adjust to reality.
     Dorothy placed all her hopes in the Wizard of Oz until she found the truth behind the screen.  Then, she realized she had the ability to solve her own problems and find her way in life.  When we get beyond childhood, we can form grownup thoughts.    
     Often people think being jaded is negative and pessimistic, an unhealthy state of mind that blocks out appreciation for the sunny side.  A person can get sick and tired of platitudes and illogical thinking and yearn for the beauty of truth.  Being jaded may just be a step toward shedding illusions and going forward to living in reality.

July News

     On July 4, we remember when America adopted the Declaration of Independence from Great Britain in 1776.  Not only are we a free country, but we are also free individuals, free to have independent thoughts and beliefs.  We can choose to agree with others, our family and friends, our pastors and politicians.  Or, we can create our own opinions.
     Be truly free and independent.  Realize that we all have the right and responsibility to think for ourselves.  We should not remain dependent on others to make our decisions.  We are not obligated to keep the same opinions that we have  held in the past.  Value your independence.
     For many people, July provides time for vacations from school and work, time to change our routines and perhaps to have a change of scene or to take a trip to visit extended family.  After a vacation, we can feel refreshed and ready to go back to our everyday lives.
     Celebrate July!

      

Crutch

     Physical problems with mobility may require an aide to be able to stand and walk.  Birth defects, disease, accidents, war injuries, and aging may require this temporary or life-time help.  Immaturity and emotional imbalance can also cause temporary instability.  Using a crutch beyond when it is needed can extend weakness.  We need to value our ability to stand alone and move forward.
     Toddlers naturally learn to stand and walk.  Adolescents learn to decrease dependence on parents.  Parents may wish to prolong their influence over their children but should encourage them to become well-rounded independent adults.
     Spouses often depend on each other to perform certain responsibilities and may inhibit their own ability to continue growing as independent adults.  Some people depend on their adult children to help with certain tasks.
     Religions often promote the idea that we should depend on a spiritual parent who provides, protects, and even plans our lives then rewards us for being good children.  Independence is not encouraged because left to our own devices, we may become too selfish, immoral, or sinful.
     Sometimes crutches are necessary to maintain mobility.  When they increase the quality of life, people adapt and are thankful to have a way to keep moving.  When a crutch is just a temporary aide, people are happy to heal and regain independent mobility.  At times, everyone needs other people to help them live a better life.  We also can be a help to others in need.  
      Recognize when you are using a crutch or being a crutch for someone else.  Every adult has the opportunity and responsibility to develop into an independent person.   We should be able to navigate a well-balanced independent life without using someone or something as a crutch.
      
    
    

Pablum

     Many decades ago, Pablum was invented to provide extra nourishment for babies.  This bland, mushy foodstuff  was safe to be consumed before the infant had teeth or a mature digestive tract.  Later, the term pablum took on another meaning which referred to naive or simplistic intellectual or entertainment fare.
     Many people still prefer to ingest simplistic or infantile ideas.   Perhaps they don't have the teeth to chew on complex ideas or the guts to get beyond what has been fed to them as young children.   Perhaps they just want to stay comfortable and don't realize the necessity to form grownup thoughts.
     Think about how much pablum is absorbed into you mind, how much time you spend on childish ideas, empty pursuits, and  mindless entertainment.  Don't waste your thinking on fairy tales, fables, and folklore.  Sink your teeth into the truth.

Environment

     Image what your spot on earth was like before your neighborhood existed.  Image that land before any human intervention or even further back when humans were living in caves.  Imagine the landscape, the water, the air - a pretty nice home for all living creatures.
     With each generation, we began to change the natural state of things by developing agriculture, building structures, inventing vehicles, beginning businesses and industry.  Humans used nature without considering the effects they were causing, sometimes improving but often damaging the environment.  Most of what we've done was for the advancement of civilization.  Consider our air-conditioned homes, transportation systems, businesses, and multitudes of products.
     We need to educate ourselves and others about the present condition of our environment, then honor scientific findings and stop dangerous habits that may cause irreparable damage.  We can wisely use, sustain, and improve our resources as individuals and as groups.  Be smart  consumers, reuse, recycle, conserve energy, plant a garden, compost, minimize pesticides and other toxins, don't litter.  Walk, bike, car pool, use public transportation.
     As you improve your own habits, think about what your community and country should do to protect and preserve the habitat of humans and other living things.  Support programs and politicians who will insure that we have a healthy world.      
    

More, Less, Add, Subtract

     Until the sum total of our life is tallied, the opportunity still exists to consider what you think is more important and less important, what you need/want more of or less of,  what you want to add or subtract.  Use your experience, time, and abilities to make your decisions.
     What we think and do will add to our world and create a model and memories for those we leave behind.  When we have used up all of our time, we can leave with a job well done and a life well lived.
     Do the math. More of this, less of that, add some, subtract some, then be satisfied with the total.

Irrational

     Humans are by nature irrational at times.  Young children are imprinted with the characteristics of their  parents which include rational and irrational thoughts and behaviors.  They may keep all or some of their parental models or create new ways to think and behave.
     Sometimes, emotions can increase the probability of irrational behavior.  We can loose self-control.  The desire for immediate gratification can inhibit long-term goals.  Procrastination can cause delays or prevent us from doing what is best.
     Some irrational decisions may be regretted later; other ones may give a respite from reality.   Placebos often cause the mind to expect and feel improvement.  Some say religion provides the greatest placebo by reducing stress and fears and giving hope for the future.
     Be mindful of the difference between rational and irrational thoughts, decisions, and behaviors.     
    

June News

     June is the most popular month for weddings, but the following statistics are no laughing matter.  The average amount people spend on a wedding is over $30,000 with $1000+ spent on a wedding gown to be worn just a few hours.  Then add flowers, photographer, reception, and the list goes on.  In some areas of the US these costs double.  This doesn't include the average honeymoon which costs $3,500.
     Many families actually go into debt to provide this one-day dream event.  Now, 30% of weddings are paid for by the bride and groom, and some couples share the expenses with their parents.
     Perhaps couples need to consider what is really necessary for a wedding: two people plus  someone to officiate and a witness of the legal union.  Everything else is just expensive trimmings.  Tradition, social customs, plus family and peer pressure can turn a simple event into an extravagant production made to impress and entertain friends and family.  The couple may feel they will recoup part of the expenses by the wedding gifts they receive.  Some people may be embarrassed if they don't provide a big wedding celebration.
     The wedding industry, even TV shows, increase the desire for the big event.  Some brides may feel their parents owe it to them as a last gift to their little girl.  Young women should be mature enough to realize that their wedding day is just the first day of their marriage, not a time to be the main attraction of a wedding video.
     Your wedding vows are the most important part of the wedding.  Think about and plan what you want to promise to each other.  Then try your very best to keep those promises.
 
          

Joining Together

     In her novel "Allegiant," Veronica Roth illustrates how people can remain loyal to home, groups, and individuals yet may change allegiance when necessary.  One character thinks to herself, "Maybe we'll make a home somewhere inside ourselves, to carry with us wherever we go."
     Our first awareness of the word allegiance comes from the phrase "I pledge allegiance..." which we learn to recite as young children.   We grow to understand the meaning of being loyal to our nation and appreciating our republic, liberty, and justice.  Patriotism helps keep citizens loyal to their homeland.
     We also learn what it means to be a loyal family member, friend, and part of a group.  Sometimes, we have to leave behind our family and home as we move away to college, get married, and establish a career.   Sometimes, we stay loyal to early ideas, opinions, and beliefs; sometimes, we choose to establish our own point of view.
     Our lifetime allegiance must be to ourselves so we can survive, develop our potential, and use our minds and talents.  We can choose to give our allegiance to others by joining together to improve our lives.
    

Creating a Better Way

     In the book "Insurgent," the author Veronica Roth gives this definition of the title: "A person who acts in opposition to the established authority, who is not necessarily regarded as belligerent."  A person may be an insurgent without being hostile or engaging in conflict or war.  In this novel, however, insurgency becomes war.
     Authority usually has a beneficial function in family, political, religious, and ideological groups.
Children are born into family and religious groups and may not be equipped to analyze their authority figures.  Adults need to use their own thinking powers, become aware of a variety of ideas, and make wise choices when giving their allegiance and loyalty.  Members of a group need to be sure those in authority are meeting the needs of everyone.  When members feel they are being treated unfairly or brainwashed to be parts of a machine, they should work toward changes or leave the group.
     We need to be responsible when we choose and follow authority.  If the established authority does not function as it should, we should proclaim our opposition and act toward improvement.  This can apply in families, religions, and politics.  Citizens should also keep watch on how our government establishes its authority around the world.  We can oppose others through diplomacy instead of being hostile and going to war.  The goal of an insurgent is to create a better way.  

Mythology

     Those stories made up by ancient civilizations seem unbelievable to the modern world, but our condescension can made us feel that our more advanced intellect and better understanding of nature prevent us from believing such tales.  However, mythology is a feature of every culture, including ours.
     Down through history, mythology has provided an explanation of how the world and humanity came to be.  These stories often include supernatural beings, moral lessons, models of behavior, and taboos.   All around the world, cultures have their own mythologies often incorporated into their religions.  We usually see the myths of others as products of pure imagination, but view our own as truth.
     Today, many people still believe stories explaining nature and history that have very little to do  with scientific reality.  We must look at our own beliefs and judge what is true and what might be mythology.

May News

TV broadcasters have decided to go back to the family-hour with programming suitable for all ages until 8 pm Central Time.  Parents can be secure that children and teens will not be exposed to R-rated themes and language.  They can go to the internet for that!
TV news will no longer follow the premise of  "If it bleeds, it leads."  Unless information can lead to finding criminals, viewers don't need to see the dark side of society. They can go to YouTube for that!
FOX news remains Far Out Xtreme.  MSNBC  remains Most Sensible News Broadcast Company.

Welfare is a temporary aide until recipients are able to pay their own way.
Everyone needs health insurance and most people will pay their share of the premiums.
Illegal immigrants need a path to citizenship and can be an asset to our country.
Abortion should remain legal.  Women have the right to choose.
LGBT are born that way and should have equal rights.
Those who carry guns guns can shoot you.
Send in the diplomats, not the soldiers.
Religion should not be a selling point of political candidates.
Experience is a very important attribute to qualify for any job including the Presidency.
If you believe the above, support Democrats.

Welfare is abused by too many undeserving, lazy, cheats.
Health care is for those who can pay for it.
Illegal aliens should be sent back to their homelands.
Abortion is a sin and should be illegal.  Women's rights end with contraception.
LGBT lifestyle is a sinful choice.  Marriage is only for heterosexuals.
Those who carry guns can protect themselves.
Send in the troops.  Diplomacy can't be trusted.
Conservative Christian values are a must for a good political candidate.
Having many years of experience means you are too old to be a leader in the future.
If you believe the above, support Republicans.


  

Expand and Contract

     Various forces in nature cause objects to expand and contract, and various forces in human behavior can cause individuals to expand and contract their worlds.  A newborn baby begins to expand it's physical world beyond the mother.  Children then expand away from home when they go to school and interact with people beyond their families.   Moving away to take part in higher education,  employment, or marriage expands individuals out into the world and into the company of a variety of people.
     Parents and family members may be sad to see their children leave home, but hopefully, they can realize the benefits of growing beyond their own backyard.  Parents may  have a harder time seeing the benefits of being exposed to other ideas, beliefs, and opinions.  They may not object when children change their addresses but may be distressed when they change their minds beyond what they have been taught at home.
     We all need to make adjustments when we leave home and in some cases, change locations a number of times.  We also need to realize that as we mature, we begin to expand our thinking and value our own unique ideas, beliefs, and opinions.  Those who stay home can still expand their minds as much as those who leave, and those who leave don't always expand their minds.
     Remember you can always return to your original home even if only in your memories.  You can keep your original set of beliefs, expand and investigate other ways of thinking, and change your mind or not.  We will always be part of nature which continues to expand and contract.    

My Turn

     We all have a turn at life, a time to grow, have opportunities, and take on responsibilities.  Sometimes we have a say in the matter; sometimes we have no control at all.
     It was my turn to be born in the 40's and grow up in the 50's.  No control there.  Then it was my turn to pursue an education and get married in the 60's.  I certainly had some control over studying and choosing a mate.  Next, it was my turn to be a housewife and mother.  And later to have a career outside the home.  My turn came to be a mother-in-law and grandmother which I still enjoy.  Since 2001, I have my turn at retirement.  This can be a time to live life at a different pace, to relax, to pursue hobbies or learn something new.
     We may have to take our turn in caring for a parent or a spouse, a chance to love and give our all.  We may have to take a turn at being cared for, a chance to receive as well as give.  After we experience many stages of life, we will arrive at taking our last turn over which we will have very little control.
     Look back on your life and realize how you have grown, benefited from many opportunities, and assumed a variety of responsibilities.  See what you still want to accomplish.  Take a turn at something new.