Cost of a Child

     Young couples who discuss whether or not to have a family or how many children they want, need to be realistic about the financial costs.  New statistics show that the average cost to raise a child from birth through 17 is over $200,000.  If the child then goes to a public in-state university, the average cost of tuition and fees right now is $8,000 a year plus thousands more for housing, food, books, and other necessities.  The average cost for four years right now is well above $50,000.  This amount will increase as years go by.  Parents who dream about scholarships and loans, may face a nightmare when they realize the actual cost of their child's education.
     Couples who already have children can plan and save but still might not have enough to cover the costs.  Ways to pay for college can include: (1) Have the teenager work and save during high school and college to help pay the bills. (2) Have the student attend college close by and live at home.
     A child is very expensive.  Wise couples will limit the number of children they have to what they can afford.  If they want the child to attend college,  the teenager needs to know about the costs and ways to help with expenses if necessary.        

Childish

     We expect a child to be childish: self-absorbed, impulsive, and out of control at times.  A child's body and brain develop in stages until maturity.  Even teenagers haven't completed all the developmental stages until they reach their mid-twenties.   At that time, society expects grownup behavior.  Education and experience should help individuals to (1) realize they aren't the center of the world, (2) develop behaviors that help accomplish goals, (3) control their emotions, and (4) get along with all sorts of people in a variety of situations.
     After many years, grownups should have the wisdom to see the whole picture, not just the view from their own backyards.  They should be able to understand different points of view and realize everyone has shortcomings including themselves.  They should have empathy toward others.
     Unfortunately, we all fall short at one time or another of being completely grownup.  We may (1) get angry and lose our tempers or pout, (2) expect everyone else to adapt to us, (3) only see our own side of things, and (4) want our own way at the detriment of what is best for everyone involved.
     When you realize you are being childish, admit it first to yourself and then to those around you.  The next step would be to see if you can control the "child" and see the advantages of being a grownup.

Cattle

     Packs, herds, and migrating birds, all group together to sustain their way of life.  We also join groups of like-minded people to satisfy our needs of survival.  Belonging keeps us from feeling lonely and isolated.  Political parties, church congregations, social clubs, and families give us companionship and comfort, promote values and philosophies, and help us reach goals that cannot be accomplished alone.
     Advertisers do research so they can promote their products, services, and candidates to target groups who will buy their messages and support their brands.  We are continually manipulated to agree, join, vote, and spend money.  Many groups use the calendar of seasons and holidays to keep us in the fold, promote loyalty, and sustain a message or product.
     This pressure to do what other people want us to do can make us feel like cattle.  The cowboys are in charge leading the manipulated animals, sometimes for the good of the herd, but other times for the good of the owners.
     Recognizing and resisting manipulation, refusing to buy, or leaving a group can be difficult, but when you begin to feel like cattle, being led by a ring in your nose, being prodded to benefit the group, you may need to give up the safety and comfort of membership in order to remain a unique individual.
 

Scary

     Halloween is a time for having fun at being scared with haunted houses, scary lawn decor, plus costumes of ghosts, zombies, witches, and vampires,   Grownups even get into the act of enjoying this night of imaginary fears.
     Almost everyone has the natural fear of dangerous creatures, while some even believe in ghosts, devils, and other supernatural forces.  Other dangerous situations from natural disasters to criminals and terrorists out to do us harm cause us to feel very uneasy about our safety.
     Fear can actually protect us, make us careful, and help us avoid dangerous situations.  Many dangers, however, are out of our control.  Accidents happens, illnesses occur, and death comes to all.  Hopefully we have the courage and stamina to handle the really scary stuff.

Common Sense

     Common sense helps us to live in a safe and reasonable way.  Most grownups have enough common sense to live in a safe way, but being reasonable is often distorted by emotions.  Sometimes it is easier to see how others are being unreasonable than to judge our own behavior.
     Common sense should be a guide to productive behavior and help us to accomplish our goals.  It should also helps us with relationships.  If an estrangement has occurred, we need to question if our behavior is blocking our common sense which can lead us beyond emotion toward forgiveness and reconciliation.

Magic

     Everyone likes to feel a little magic in their lives.  When something good happens that seems surprising or even supernatural,  people feel happiness and hope.
     Many religious groups accept the miracles described in holy scriptures and have faith that God will protect and aid them even going beyond the laws of nature.  Communicating with the spiritual realm gives hope that God will grant requests.  Having eternal life after death would be the biggest miracle of all.
     Non-religious persons may also hope that they and others can bypass the many pains of life and experience the magic of a healthy body, of love and friendship, and of  babies entering the world.  Even witnessing a seed forming into a healthy plant can cause appreciation of the magic of the universe.  Most of these occurrences can be explained by the laws of nature, but they still remain very magical.   

Mind Change

     When was the last time you changed your mind?  Not about something minor like what to wear, eat, or watch on TV, but about something major.  For some reason, you have a major shift in what you believe.
     Perhaps you have had a disagreement with someone close or feel the person has mistreated you.  At first you may have hurt feelings or anger, stop communicating, and distance yourself from them.  Then as time passes and tempers cool, you may realize that mending the relationship is more important than who was right and who was wrong.
     Maybe you have always been a member of the same political party, but recently that party doesn't seem to be going in the direction that you approve of.  Your chosen candidate may be more important than the particular party.
     You may have always belonged to the same church but are beginning to feel church attendance doesn't seem as important anymore.   Staying home on Sundays may be difficult, but may be a step you have to take.
     Changing your mind doesn't mean you can't change it again.  Some opinions will remain with us for a lifetime while other opinions will change.    

Religion and Politics

     Many voters are more comfortable supporting candidates of their same religion.  Confidence comes when we have faith that the politician has the same values and morals that we have.  When a politician's religion is different than ours, we may become wary that the other religion strays from our opinions on certain issues.  When a candidate feels his religious faith or lack thereof is a private issue, voters sometimes may be confused about the person's value system.   Admitting that the phrases "in God we trust" and "one nation under God" do not conform with their beliefs would be the kiss of death to politicians no matter how qualified they would be to hold office.
     I remember when voters wondered if John F. Kennedy would give allegiance to the Pope and his stance on political issues.  We have since learned that the Catholic value system was not always uppermost in his mind when JFK made some of his "moral" decisions.
     Just because a candidate has your same faith shouldn't be the only reason to  give your support.  In some instances, politicians seem to use their religion to gain the voter's confidence  They also want you to have less confidence in the candidate from another religion.   Please support the candidate that you think will do the best job for all Americans.
    

Worst Enemy/Best Friend

     What does a best friend do? empathizes, appreciates, nurtures, listens, and encourages.  A good friend broadens our perspective, helps with our goals, takes pride in our accomplishments, lessens our stress, and brightens our outlook.
     How do we become our own worst enemy?  ignore our health and inner voice, limit our potential, set unrealistic goals, lose our focus and perspective, and let stress build up and negativity creep in.
     We all need to guard against becoming our own worst enemy and strive to be our own best friend.

Plan B

     I have been trying to introduce my young granddaughter to Plan B.  She gets frustrated, as children often do, when her Plan A isn't successful.  I don't know at what age we are able to see the advantages of being able to switch to Plan B.
     Even as adults, we don't want to leave Plan A as long as our determination and various methods of implementation can produce success, but if all fails, staying in a state of frustration only prolongs switching gears.  Experience has taught us the advantages of having more than one plan in mind.  We can continue our effectiveness with less frustration when we are able to adjust to Plan B.