Fly Solo

     When we take our first breath, we become a separate being.  Even though we are dependent on our parents for many years, we assert our independence in degrees from being a toddler saying no until being a teenager yearning for adulthood.  As we gain maturity, we become completely responsible for ourselves.  We will keep an emotional attachment with our parents, but we are a separate being alone in our decisions and actions.  We leave the nest and fly solo.
     Most of us do marry, start a family, and become part of a group.  We take comfort in having a parent or a mate love and care for us.  Frequently, however, we realize that we must care for ourselves.  As our busy responsibilities subside, we can again see that we are indeed separate.
     Many go to their religion to feel loved and protected, to be part of God's family, so we no longer have to feel separate and alone.  Comfort can come from feeling that a powerful and loving father is always available to help and guide us.  Religious or not, we need to appreciate our physical bodies, our mental abilities, and the wonderful world around us.  We need to develop inner strength and courage to face the unknown. 
     When we take our last breath, we do it alone even though family members may be nearby.  Religion again can ease this last earthly experience especially when we believe life goes on.  Some believe that we always have a co-pilot; others believe that we must fly solo. 
    

$ $ $

   

   

    Just what should our government be paying for?
     College loans?  My parents worked, saved money, and paid for my college education.  My husband worked throughout his high school and college years to pay for all his college expenses.  My husband and I worked, saved, and paid for the college education of our three daughters.  If you want your child to go to college, plan how to pay for it.  Going into debt shows you didn't plan very well.  Don't expect US taxpayers to foot the bill.
     Medical care?  Same explanation: worked, paid for insurance, contributed to Social Security and pension plans, saved for out-of-pocket expenses and retirement.  Same advice: Don't expect Uncle Sam to bail you out.
     Our government is in debt because it is providing services to many citizens who didn't take responsibility for their own lives, didn't plan, and didn't save.  Government needs to spend taxpayer money on our safety, our justice system, our environment, highways, other necessary public projects, and public education for children ages 4-18.  Government cannot afford to take over the responsibility of raising a family.  That's for mom and dad!
    

Outer and Inner

     Outer and inner influences affect the way we look at health and self-image.  When our health goals are aimed at outer appearances, we may focus on ideal weight and muscle tone.  When goals are aimed at inner health, we may focus on strong bones and muscles, organ function, blood pressure, etc.   Total health is reflected in our outer and inner condition.
     When our self-image is affected by outside opinions, we may focus on appearance, looking more youthful and sexy.  We are more prone to getting rid of the gray, reducing wrinkles, using cosmetics, and having plastic surgery.  When our self-image comes from our inner judgment, we can take pride in being our natural selves, having good values, and improving our inner beauty.
     How we appear to others is important because those impressions do matter.  How we appear to ourselves is more important.  As we put more emphasis on total health and inner beauty, we will gain self confidence and be less dependent on the judgment of others.

The Basics

     Every generation dreams of a life that meets their basic needs of food, clothing, housing, transportation, technology, education, health care, and financial stability.  Each generation also imagines a life as good as their parents provided or even becoming upwardly mobile into an improved version.  Today's generation needs to face the fact that their dreams may need to be scaled back.  They may have to be satisfied with the very basics and content to live the simple life within their means.
     Food: the majority of meals at home with the whole family sharing in food prep, less eating out, plant a garden
     Clothing: what is needed to be comfortable, not necessarily the latest in fashion and expensive brand names, less jewelry and accessories
     Housing: a comfortable bed and modest living space, not necessarily a house in the suburbs, perhaps living closer to work
     Transportation: moderately-priced cars instead of gas guzzlers, car pool, use the bus and subways/trains where possible
     Technology: just what is necessary for work, school, and communication, forgo expensive phones and techie toys
     Education: help improve your local public schools and use them, volunteer, send your kids to less expensive local colleges, have your teenagers get jobs and help pay for their schooling
     Health Care: get insurance, if possible through your employment, maintain healthy habits, avoid unhealthy substances like tobacco and junk food
     Financial Stability: always save what you can, put off purchases until you can afford them, limit credit card use, don't expect Uncle Sam to bail you out
     Dream realistically. A simple life can help you realize what is really important.  Your greatest accomplishment may be to live within your means and be happy with the basics.

The Middle

     My story is not unique.  Many middle class families have lived similar lives.  My parents had jobs and payroll taxes were deducted from their paychecks to support Social Security.  They also had health insurance and pension plans through their employers.  Throughout their lives, they bought U.S. Savings Bonds and also saved in other ways.  They bought only what they could afford without credit cards.  When my dad died at 58 years, my mom received widows' benefits.  Because of their hard work and good financial planning, they paid their own way.
     This typical story helps explain why the middle class feels that everyone should work and pay for what they need.  They feel that if someone really wants to work, they can find a job.  They don't feel the government should support people who won't work.  When the government supports the non-working, the incentive to find a job is greatly reduced, and the family grows to depend on welfare.
      Of course there is sympathy for those who temporarily receive unemployment benefits.  This sympathy does not extend to those who choose to have more children than they can afford or to those who spend many years of their lives expecting the government to foot their bills.
     We in the middle expect all Americans to have our work ethic, be responsible, and pay their own way.  

The Gift

     Give your time, talent, love, and wisdom to yourself, your family, and the world.  Give attention and care to your physical and mental health.  Discover your unique potential and increase your capabilities.  Give to yourself.
     Share what you are and what you have.  Often you will receive appreciation and reciprocation.  Your gift can become a two-way street of giving and receiving.
     Sometimes your gift may only travel one way when it is anonymous or taken for granted. Then giving will be it's own reward.
     Your gift, no matter what happens next, improves your life, adds to your accomplishments, and helps define your character.  Be sure to give yourself what you need and give others what you can.  As you give, you may also become a role model.  Be the gift that keeps on giving.

Skeptic

     We all need to be skeptics at times, to question what seems to be true.  Otherwise, we would be too gullible to judge when someone was lying, stretching the truth, or stating their opinions as facts.  We would be vulnerable to scams, false advertising, and people who have their own agendas.  We could fall prey to promises too good to be true.  Being skeptical protects us and builds confidence in our own judgment.
     Being skeptical can be uncomfortable when we begin to reflect on the big questions of life.  As we analyze our life-long opinions and beliefs, we may begin to pull away from the comfort of what our families have taught us.  We also may have to face the fact that many questions have no answers.  Sometimes our brains may just get tired and stressed at being skeptical and want to decide what is true and never have to question again.  We  can then live in peace with like-minded individuals who reinforce our beliefs.  Our beliefs and opinions then become our facts.
     Most of us are taught to distinguish between fact and opinion, to consider our sources of information, and to evaluate what others say and think.  A skeptic keeps a questioning attitude as part of the process for discovering truth.
    

Waiting Room

     Sometimes we have no choice but to sit in a waiting room until we can get into an appointment or until a loved one finishes a medical procedure.  The waiting can be a positive experience that allows us to pause, gather our thoughts, gain perspective, make plans, and practice patience.
     Other times we choose to place ourselves in a waiting room of sorts when our focus is on the future.  We all need to spend some time planning for the future, and anticipating a special event is part of the enjoyment.  Some people see their whole lives as a preparation for the great appointment in Heaven.
     A waiting room can be a physical place or a state of mind.  We do need to be cautious that while waiting for the future, we also appreciate the present.  As John Lennon's famous lyrics say: "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."
     

Joy

     The joy of special occasions and the joy of simple pleasures can increase our appreciation of life.  Many people find great joy in celebrating religious holidays such as Easter and Christmas.  Their faith also helps them see joy in their daily lives.  Joy also comes on our wedding day and at the birth of children and grandchildren.
     As we accomplish goals, win competitions, and go on much-needed vacations, our emotions reach a high point.  We can also feel joy when our loved ones or our special teams reach success.  Helping others be happy can increase our happiness.
     Even the simple things in life can bring joy: a beautiful sunrise or sunset, a gathering of friends or family, a hobby, a pet, music, singing, dancing, and whatever else raises your spirits.  Sometimes joy can even be found in sharing smiles as we meet others along our paths.