Foibles

     Idiosyncrasies, quirks, strange or silly habits, most of us have foibles that are sometimes annoying but not usually harmful.  Often people don't see their own foibles until someone makes a joke or otherwise points them out.  If someone judges our behavior as odd, we often discount their opinion.  We think our  behavior is normal and even necessary to accomplish our goals. We  might be wiser to at least consider opinions other than our own.
     Normal includes a wide range of behaviors, and unique personality traits can be quite interesting.  We may like our own style, but others may see how some of our habits may actually be reducing our overall effectiveness.  When we are too secure in our own logic and opinions, we often prevent the benefits of helpful advice.  Sometimes we need to see ourselves through the eyes of others, so we don't become slaves to our foibles.

Decline

     Sudden or gradual, temporary or permanent, a decline in physical and mental abilities takes a great deal of adjustment.  You may experience a decline in yourself or in your loved ones and have to face serious and often sad consequences.
     Strokes, accidents, and other sudden onset health problems are shocking and often require immediate adjustments.  More gradually developing problems allow time to prepare for what is to come.  Some problems may be temporary and can even be improved or overcome.  Unfortunately, other situations may be permanent and can even worsen.  We may become more dependent on a spouse, children, or professional caretakers.  Or a loved one may become more dependent on us.
     We do what we can to escape or postpone decline, but most of us who live to a ripe old age will have moments of feeling we are going downhill.  We may grieve the loss of youth.  Let's hope the wisdom of age will help us cope.  Now we can better understand our grandparents, parents, and other loved ones who have faced health problems.  We can develop compassion for those going through hard times.  Many people even get actively involved in finding cures for devastating diseases.
     As age creeps into our bones and all the other body parts, we need to focus on what we can do instead of what we can't.  As everyone knows, life has many ups and downs, and we have to adjust.  Better to appreciate what we have and accept the natural process of decline.

"Everybody's Doin' It Now"

     In the early 1900's, Irving Berlin wrote this song which caused everyone to get up and dance.  Ragtime music was very popular.  Each generation produces music that creates the desire to dance.  We are influenced by everybody doing it now.
     We may choose to follow everyone else or do our own thing.  Our parents, peers, religion, and culture have influenced us by an early age.   We model ourselves on our parents, their values, and religion.  We become part of a peer group and culture.  We follow a calendar of events and adopt annual traditions with ceremonies, gifts, food, and family gatherings.  Everyone is doing it, so there must be some merit and enjoyment involved.  If those people and things that influence us truly benefit us, well and good.  If these influences stop us from considering other ideas or prevent us from standing up to family and peer pressures, then not so good.  We need to decide if we want to do what our family and friends expect or not.
     We also need to understand how our culture is influencing us.  We observe the world in person and through the media that seems to show certain behaviors are becoming more prevalent: violence, promiscuity, drugs, one-sided propaganda, and intolerance.  From colored hair and mani-pedis to tattoos and body piercings, the natural look seems out.  People tend to idolize youth, outer beauty, fame, and wealth.  Short term goals get the most consideration without thinking about the consequences.  Just because the pop culture seems to condone certain behaviors doesn't mean you have to agree or go along with it.
     Think about what you're doing and why you're doing it.  Design your own life. You may do what everybody's doing or do your own thing.  You don't have to dance to someone else's tune.   
      

Supernatural

      Beliefs may be based on natural laws, supernatural power, or a combination of both.
     The amazing laws of nature enable the universe and all within it, including us, to exist and thrive.  Even though most of us are not scientists, we trust the scientific methods that reveal what has gone on for billions of years and how things work today.
     Many people put their faith in the supernatural that goes beyond the laws of nature.  They believe that God came first, created the universe, communicates with humans, inspired holy scriptures, enables miracles, and provides heaven for life after death.
     Conflicts can arise when we try to incorporate both beliefs into our thinking.  Those who believe that religious faith supersedes natural laws may take the scriptures literally and believe in creationism rather than evolution.  Others realize that scriptures were written for people living at that time who could not understand modern science.  Some believe that stories of the bible are fact; some believe many of the stories are fables.  Some feel that their religious beliefs should help form the laws that apply to all US citizens.
     Those who do not have strong religious beliefs may have less trust in the authenticity of scriptures and may not believe in events outside the laws of nature like miracles.  Some believe that humans created the idea of God to provide a parent figure who loves and protects, teaches how to behave, provides comfort, and eases fears.  
     You may put your trust in the natural or the supernatural or try to blend both.  Appreciate our freedom to choose our beliefs and celebrate life.     
        

Fidelity

     Loyalty, faithfulness, and promises kept enable fidelity.  Promises or vows made to each other can begin and sustain marriage.
     When we make a promise, we usually do it wholeheartedly with the best intentions.  We may keep those vows for a lifetime.  In some cases, however, vows are broken. 
     Some promises shouldn't be made in the first place.  Other  promises are made without realizing how complicated they will be to keep.  In some instances, promises need to be evaluated, redesigned, or completely changed.  When two people vow fidelity to each other and one breaks the promise, the other may choose to negate the union.  Sometimes, the injured party shows forgiveness, and the union can mend and continue.
     Fidelity goes beyond sexual monogamy.  To be loyal to your spouse includes love, understanding, and doing what it takes to have a successful life together.  We all need to remember how we felt and what we promised on our wedding day.
     I remember over 50 years ago, when my husband and I were planning our vows.  I made it clear that I would not promise to obey my husband.  Patriarchy was outdated even then; women and men realized the benefits of partnership.  We said our vows and have been able to keep them all these years.  Make sure that any promise you make is something you truly believe in and are determined to keep.  With deepening love and continued loyalty, fidelity will be your reward.      

Mistakes

     If you have time to plan, mistakes can be reduced.  Without that time, take action - just do it.  Hesitation or inaction may rob you of the opportunity.
     Some people resist action out of shyness or fear of judgment.  They allow the opinions of others to supersede their own.  Other people will think all sorts of things based on their perspectives, prejudices, and ignorance, but what you think about yourself is most important.  Wasted time considering possible repercussions can limit communication and active participation.
     Caution may be necessary in some situations, but don't make that an excuse.  Be brave, take chances, and don't fear making mistakes.  You can learn from them, ask for forgiveness when necessary, and try again.  It has been said that not making a decision is a decision.
     When you don't have the luxury of time, when you feel the need to act or react, let your experience and instincts spur you forward.  The risk of making a mistake may be smaller than you expect.  Be willing to take that risk so you can make the most of your opportunities.   

Underwhelmed

     Unimpressed, disappointed, bored, being underwhelmed can have two causes.  (1) People or events may fail to impress as intended or (2) your expectations are too high or unrealistic.
     Let's face it, some people or events can be boring even to the majority of  us.  Misleading advertising or hype may be involved.  Old routines may have outlasted their usefulness.  In other circumstances,  we may expect too much out of certain people or events, more than they can realistically deliver.  We may be too quick to judge instead of trying to understand.  We may feel disappointed when behavior is not according to our value system or when outside sources don't cater to our wishes or give us satisfaction.
     The world does not conform to our wishes.  We need to adapt, change our attitude, or improve our lives.  Everyone has to withstand some times that are mundane and boring, but we can also use our imagination and expand our mind to appreciate the ordinary and unexciting.  We can also try new things and meet new people.
      Underwhelmed is a relatively new term, coined a few years ago, but we all know what it means.  Hopefully, we only feel this way from time to time.  When we begin to be bored or disappointed with a big portion of our lives, we need to do something, to appreciate the way things are or make changes.    

Overwhelmed

     Too much, too soon, too unpleasant, being overwhelmed happens to everyone now and then.  If you are breathing, you are surviving.  If you are getting nourishment, rest, and sleep, you will make it through.
     Change your perspective of time: think about today, tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year.  This too shall pass.  Change your perspective of location: have a change of scene, take a walk, breathe in some fresh air and observe nature and everything around you.  Do something you enjoy; have some fun.
     Make a plan, get organized, take one step at a time, one day at a time.  Erase the unimportant from your to-do list.  Do only what is absolutely necessary.  Share your stress, tell somebody, ask for and accept help.
     Reduce negativity.  Be grateful and accentuate the positive.  Write down your thoughts, worries, and plans.  Build up your strength and have confidence that you can do whatever it takes to overcome your problems and get past feeling overwhelmed.

Prayer

     Imagine being in an audience where a prayer of another religion or an atheistic practice was part of a public gathering.  In the US, Christian prayers are often included without forethought or consideration of the total audience but just as part of the tradition of the "majority."  Where and why is prayer appropriate?
Where - at home, in houses of worship, in parochial schools, and in an individual mind
Where not - in public groups and gatherings, in public school classes, assemblies, and sporting events
Why - asking a higher power for something or giving thanks
Why not - giving an impression that a public group is honoring a religion or promoting a diety
     Even though we live in a democracy, majority does not rule in religious issues.  We are free to practice religion or not but should realize our own belief should not be shown preference.  We have many opportunities to pray.  No one objects to a private, silent prayer.  We just can't expect to voice that prayer in front of a public audience.
     

Proactive

     Be aware of the choices you can make as you anticipate your future.  Take responsibility, prepare, initiate, take control when possible, and change when necessary.  Take matters into your own hands instead of waiting for someone or something else to make things happen.  Be courageous and persevere.  Be proactive.
     Of course, we can't and perhaps shouldn't have our own way all the time, but we should consider our own needs as well as the needs of others and be our own advocate.  We should support ourselves and whatever is important to us.
     Beware when you begin to think that some master plan, predestination, or fate is in control.  Thinking that whatever is supposed to happen will happen does not make it true.  Also beware when you believe you have the right to control others.  You do have the right to voice your own opinions and to influence and persuade others.  You also have the right to disagree and say no.
     Not being proactive can cause passivity and dependence.  Certain circumstances beyond our control may require us to depend on others, and other situations may require others to be dependent upon us.  No matter what, we need to honor every person's right including our own to be proactive.