EARTH

 Our home, Earth orbiting the sun with a moon orbiting Earth.  We are a small part of the universe.  During a solar eclipse, the moon aligns between the sun and earth and casts its shadow.  During a lunar eclipse, Earth aligns between the sun and moon and casts its shadow.  What wonders to behold!

As inhabitants of Earth, we need to take care of our home as it holds us close, provides the soil, plants, and fellow creatures plus the water and air, all essential for survival.  We are responsible to care for our home.      

WHO ARE WE?

 
Communication is influenced by our identity, a combination of factors from family, community, education, religion, and life experiences.  Ethnicity also plays a part in how we see ourselves and how others see us.  Everyone has their own point of view, beliefs, and opinions.  Perhaps the more alike we are, the easier the conversation.  Perhaps the more diverse we are, the more difficult the communication, but also the more we can learn and grow.  Recognizing our bias, stereotypes, and prejudices will improve our understanding. 

Social communication includes how each person relates to others.  Every human is unique but similar, and we all have the need to connect to others.  A first step in communication may be to realize our many similarities, what we have in common.  Next our differences can be explored.  Honoring each other is vital.  Each person should have the chance to participate.  Our goal may or may not be changing minds. 

My blog was inspired by the book "Supercommunicators" by Charles Duhigg.

HOW DO WE FEEL?

Part of communication is being aware of how we feel and how the other person or people feel.  As the communication progresses, we can tell by body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice how the conversation is going and then respond considering the emotions.  Listening and trying to understand other feelings about topics being discussed is essential.

Some topics are more emotional than others; they may bring about positive or negative feelings.  The emotional maturity of the individuals influences the possibility of success.  Feeling empathy toward each other improves the conversation.  We need to get comfortable expressing our feelings and try to make others comfortable expressing theirs.

The communication may be begin with "How do you feel about ....?" or "I would like to hear your thoughts about ...." or  follow up with "Why do you feel .... about ....?"  Sometimes, we already know the other person's opinions are different than ours.  We may have a conflict or disagreement that needs to be discussed.  Someone we love may need an intervention to face problems with alcohol, drugs or gambling.  The people involved need to deal with their emotions  and keep the conversation polite and civil.

     

My blog was inspired by the book "Supercommunicators" by Charles Duhigg.

WHAT'S THIS REALLY ABOUT?

Communication with one person or a group of people can be improved and become more successful.  Often you know in advance what topics you want to talk about and can prepare how you want to begin, what questions to ask, and imagine possible reactions.  Listening is as important as speaking.  Watch for  clues about how the communication is going: signs of boredom, changing the subject, sounds of agreement like yah, uh-huh, eye contact, facial expressions, body language. Feedback keeps the communication going.

  

Many communications are about practical matters, a situation or problem to be discussed, and possible goals, plans, and solutions. Realize your beliefs and values may differ, but appreciate each other.

My blog was inspired by the book "Supercommunicators" by Charles Duhigg.

     

 

DYSFUNCTIONAL

When relationships don't operate normally or properly, they are considered dysfunctional.  How we define normal or proper varies with each person and within each family.  Becoming an independent and full-functioning adult is the first step.  Becoming a couple requires additional skills while forming a successful and balanced relationship.  Adding children to the family becomes even more complicated.  Some people enter into relationships too soon and have children before they are ready to assume the numerous functions necessary.  

As decades pass, one spouse may become the caretaker of the other who may then pass away.   The surviving widow or widower must learn how to function alone.   

 

We all want a safe, happy, and healthy life where we can grow and develop our talents, but the path to creating good relationships has many roadblocks, twists, and turns.  We are all a work in progress. The goal is to make everyone involved feel safe, valued, and loved.   

HIDE OR BLOCK

 Facebook and other social media present the opportunity to keep up with growing families and friends activities plus many other types of pleasant information.  However, other posts may be annoying, monotonous, or just don't match our interests.  If you don't like a post, then hide or block it.  If you don't like a different opinion, better to understand the source and why you disagree.  This applies to posts and also to face-to-face conversations.

You may want to hide yourself from thinking about and discussing certain topics.  Also what you choose to read may only reinforce what you already know and believe. The more you hide or avoid discussing your opinions, the less you will learn about your own thoughts and the opinions of others.

Some people hide so much from themselves that they block the truth.      

EVE from AFRICA

 All humans can trace back to "Eve" who lived 200,000 years ago in Africa.  She was almost certainly black for survival in the sunny climate.  As some humans migrated north and many generations passed, skin tone lightened.  Perhaps 7000 years ago, white skin evolved in areas with less intense sun.

SWEET TREATS

 

Some foods and drinks are just for fun, not because we are hungry or thirsty.  Aside from getting good nutrition, we can alter our mood through what we ingest, perhaps in childhood with sugar: Birthday cake, Valentine hearts, Easter candy, Halloween treats, Christmas cookies and candy canes.  Then chocolate which has caffeine, and as we get older, more caffeine with coffee, tea, and some soft drinks.  Nicotine is another substance.  Beer, wine, and alcohol add to the list.

Today, sone people go for marijuana and even illegal drugs to alter their mood.  Over-the-counter and prescription drugs may be misused.

Many people seem to need to use substances to sweeten their lives.  Good questions to ask: why, what to do without them, and how to improve our moods with the good stuff like healthy food and drink or other activities that can create joy or calm stress for ourselves and others.  Of course, in moderation, we can enjoy sweet treats.   

 

  

CHILD

 

From a child's point of view, parents provide the basic needs: good health, adequate nutrition, good caregiving, security and safety, and educational opportunities.  Most of this is obvious,  but parents need to see that education includes not just facts, figures, and the latest STEM training, but also how to think, form, and  respectfully discuss different opinions.

 Some parents are happy to produce a mini-me, even prefer the child replicates the mom and dad, adopting their beliefs and opinions.  Often parents are certain that their truth needs to be passed on and not questioned.

Going from dependent child to independent adult requires time and good relationships.  Gradually the child grows up to provide their own basic needs.  This may include going away to college, moving away from home, and becoming financially independent.   Along the way, independent thinking develops.  Some people will keep most of their parents opinions and beliefs while others may depart or evolve from their childhood beliefs. 

 

       

MOTHER

 From a child's point of view, mother provides love and a home for us from the time we are just a few cells and throughout the rest of our lives; she provides a place to grow and develop.  She goes through pregnancy, labor and childbirth and is able to nourish us through breast milk.  Every mammal throughout history has these abilities.  Until the past few decades, she was the primary caretaker and teacher and her love continues no matter what.

Some cultures down through time have envisioned supernatural goddesses, but most religions of today don't have these images.  Societies mostly powered by men have placed females into a more secondary or subservient role; however, we do have Mother Nature.  She provides all our earthly needs.  We survive because of her.

When we have or have had the love of our mother, we understand unconditional love.  As we become mothers, we continue the cycle of life.

FATHER

From a child's point of view, dad loves us, protects us, provides our needs, teaches us about right and wrong, seems to know the answers to questions, and is our hero.  We feel safe, secure, and loved.  As child turns into adult, we learn to provide for ourselves, think for ourselves, and sometimes even disagree with dad.  Dad needs to respect that his child is an adult.  Dad and child will always love each other.

As long as father is alive, he can provide comfort and love, but because his influence diminishes, many cultures around the world envision a supernatural father who is much more than our human father.  Perhaps, we may yearn to be childlike and feel the presence of a superior being taking care of us just like dad used to do.  

PROTECTION

Protect your body and your mind from danger.  Our bodies need protection from sunburn, glare, frostbite, loud noises, diseases, and unwanted pregnancies.  We need protection from unlawful people and counties.  Some need to protect themselves from physical and emotional abuse from parents, spouses and partners.  Protecting ourselves from brainwashing, manipulation, propaganda, spam, and fake news may be more complicated.

When we see, hear, and read something, we need to think about the source and if it is trustworthy.  We hope that we can trust messages from parents, family, and close friends.  We want to trust our favorite leaders and politicians.  The responsibility is ours to think and decide how to protect ourselves.

VACATION

Get away from it all: regular routine, home, job, responsibilities.  Maybe to a different location, new activities, more relaxation, fun and adventure.  Take a VACATION!

This location is in Mexico with perfect weather.  New activities included water exercise and Zumba in the pool, dance lessons with Mexican instructors, Spanish lessons, evening music and shows, consuming all kinds of food, time at the beach, meeting new people.

The best part was spending time with family.

You may choose a different location, activities, and fun. Or some do a staycation at home by temporarily deleting job responsibilities, adding more rest and relaxation, visiting interesting places nearby, and having more fun. 

      

TOLERANCE

Easy to tolerate a  person who is just like you, same background, opinions, and behaviors. However, a person of a different ethnic group, native country, religion, political opinions, or types of behavior may stretch your tolerance level.  Anyone can say, "Live and let live, as long as you're not hurting anyone."  But then we may have subconscious bias, stereotyping, prejudice, and misinformation lurking in our brain that we need to address before tolerance can be real.

Diversity in our schools, neighborhoods, workplaces, and what we see and hear in the media can obviously improve our understanding and tolerance of those that are different than we are.  Focusing on our similarities can make the differences less important.

Our democracy gives us many freedoms and limits certain behaviors not tolerated and even punished.  By our votes, we can influence the law.  Citizens have various opinions but the majority rules.  Religions also promote what they think should and should not be tolerated.  Other interest groups try to persuade us to think about issues.

You don't have to agree with people to tolerate them, but just respect them to have their own opinions. Be sure you really think about what and why you have some things you will not tolerate.         

POEMS: Process and The News

                       PROCESS

Observation, Inspiration, Imagination

Connection, Creation, Description

Revision, Correction, Addition

Completion, Share, Publication

                      

                        THE NEWS

Sensations, Global, Local

Surprise, Shock, Awe

Crime, Killing, War

Famous, Celebrity, Politician

Temperature, Alerts, Precipitation

Teams, Wins, Losses

Sympathy, Celebrations

Cause, Effect, Solutions

VOTE

Our democracy works better when everyone votes.  Choose your candidate to win.  Or in some cases, vote so the other person doesn't win.  Our responsibility as citizens is to make a choice.  Even if you don't have a strong opinion, be a part of the process.  Support democracy.     

SELF-ADVOCATE

 Discover what you need and want, provide what you can independently, and realize when you need help.  Clarify what you need and want for a happy successful life.  Find ways to meet your goals and become a self-advocate.  Take care of yourself and be your own best friend.  Realize when you need assistance from others, perhaps family members.

Sometimes we wait for our family to volunteer or offer an invitation.  We don't want to impose or ask for something they may not want to give.  We often let them design our relationship.  They may think they know what is best for us.

This is when you need to advocate for yourself. Try to help them understand what your life is like, what you need physically and emotionally.  Our culture promotes providing for yourself, being as independent as possible.  Sometimes, however, we need the connection to our loved ones.  We want to be part of each others lives, to receive and give help.  Our culture also sees the traditional family, mom, dad, and the kids living together as the best combination.  The multigenerational family doesn't seem the ideal.  

Being a self-advocate may seem selfish or self-centered, but  we need to be responsible for taking care of ourselves which includes realizing what we need from others and letting them know.