You're OK

     If you were a fan of Saturday Night Live a few years back, you may remember a character named Stuart Smalley (aka Al Franken.)  He would look in a mirror and say, "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me."  Perhaps we would benefit from this attitude when we begin to look back on our lives.
    Realize that what you see, how you look, and how you have lived your life is good enough.  Your personality, your talents, and your helpful ways have made people like you.  Don't compare yourself to others or to some ideal.  Find contentment being yourself.
     Some people feel they should analyze their shortcomings and make resolutions to change.  Maybe appreciating the unique person you have become is better.  Continue on the path you have designed.  You may decide to change or remain the same.  As Stuart would say, "And that's OK."
   

One and Only

     When we are young, we may hope to meet and marry our one and only true love.  For some, this dream comes true.  For others, circumstances may cause them to lose their first love. They may meet a second person to love or may be satisfied to continue life on their own.  We all have been on our own for at least part of our lives.  We depend on the person who knows us best, who has been with us from our first breath to our last.  That person is yourself.  
     When we are young, most of us believe according to what are parents believed and where in the world we were born.  Some believers hold fast to that one and only religion for their entire lives.  For others, circumstances may cause them to leave their first religion and adopt another or not practice any religion at all.
     We may want a soul mate to share our lives or choose to live by ourselves.  We may believe that our soul needs to connect with a spiritual world through religion or choose to live without any religion.  We just need to live our one and only life the best we can.

We Are The World

     We are sisters and brothers sharing the same home.  We are alike: need sufficient clothing, shelter, food, and clean water, want to be healthy, free of disease and pain, and hope for peace without war and strife.  We are different: varieties of religions and philosophies, opinions and perspectives, talents, interests and lifestyles.
     With this in mind, we should plan how to spend our time, energy, and money.  We can do much personally within our families and close associates.  In order to help those beyond our own acquaintances,  we can contribute to churches and charities and through taxes to our government.  So often, we easily give to our own, our children, grandchildren, and other relatives and friends. Our sympathy is easier to extend to people who are like us.  We find it harder to give freely to those who are different.
     As we do what we can to help others survive, we need to do what we can to help them improve their lives.  As we solve our own problems, we can help others solve theirs.  Everyone needs to be educated to the point that they are able to contribute to the economy.  Parenthood should be postponed until parents can support their children.  We need to take care of our bodies, stay as healthy as possible, and make sure everyone has access to health care.  We need to take care of our home and our environment and be good stewards of our natural resources.  Governments need to focus on diplomacy and peace instead of military force.
     Mother Earth provides all the resources necessary for survival, but circumstances may make it very difficult for many of her children to have a satisfying lifestyle.  Our concern should not be with just our corner of the world, our dot on the map.  We are not just members of our own family or residents of our own neighborhood. We are the world.        
   





       

Artificial Sweeteners

     We all need a little sugar in our lives: smiles, hugs, encouragement, appreciation, compliments, and thank-yous.  Our minds and bodies need the energy and stamina to accomplish the necessary tasks of life.  Some people, however, go to the extremes of abusing food, alcohol, tobacco, and drugs to temporarily lift their spirits.  Beware when using these artificial  sweeteners to distort reality.
     Many people use religion to deal with the bitter side of life: loneliness, disappointment, illness, and death.  They believe God is by their side guiding them toward eternal life.  Other people try to appreciate the sweetness of nature and their place in it, to be thankful for the bounty and accept the rhythms of life and death.
     Our objective should be to add our sweetness to the world, to develop our abilities to help each  other have a better life.  We all may need a spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down, but we should not sugarcoat reality.  Artificial sweeteners do not replace the real thing.

Who am I to judge?

     Judge yourself, your own behavior, opinions, and beliefs.  Try to form your own basis for judgment instead of automatically adopting the standards of your religion, your parents, or any previous "expert."  Have confidence in your own common sense and logic instead of echoing the rhetoric of previously set ideas.  Remain curious, question everything, consider your sources of information, and look at the total picture.
     When you have a sound basis for judgment, focus evaluating and improving yourself and your side of relationships.  Try to see others without clouding the picture by judging them.  You will broaden your perspective and better understand human behavior.  Open up your heart and let the sunshine in.
     Recently, the Pope asked the question, "Who am I to judge?"  Supposedly an expert on God's will, he should have a pretty good basis to judge.  Catholics, non-Catholics, and non-believers can see the wisdom behind his question.  We need to open our hearts and minds to accept others as they are instead of judging them on the basis of our own standards.

Tyranny of Tradition

     We accept traditions from the past often without thinking or questioning their function and value.  Traditions work when elders elevate their desires and opinions and convince the younger generation to accept the ways of the past.  Those in power may be trying to  perpetuate a religion, a value system, or a way of life, to hold on to their authority to decide what others should do.
     Many traditions may be worthy of including in our lives, and we may begin new traditions of our own with hopes that our children will adopt and continue them.  We must, however, take time to consider which traditions really serve to improve our lives and which traditions need to be changed or eliminated.  We shouldn't value the past to the point that it inhibits the development of our present and future.
     During the holidays, many people get comfort in repeating religious and family traditions.  They hear the same stories, sing the same songs, and even eat the same foods.  This often brings nostalgia and the warm and fuzzies.  We think of our childhood when our parents were alive, then when we raised our own children.  We hope that our grandchildren will always remember us and family times together.  Traditions reinforce religious beliefs and bring up memories of the past.
     We need to think about how much we encourage our children to do their own thing rather than expect them to feel obligated or guilty if they don't accept our beliefs and traditions.  Our opinions are just that, ours. We may agree with our elders and may encourage the next generation to agree with us, but we need to honor each generation to have the freedom to design their own lives.  Tyranny occurs when those in authority use their power to pressure others to do their will.  

EDD

     Some people are unable to step outside themselves and tune in to what other people experience, feel, think, and believe. They are locked in to a self-centered world and are labeled as having empathy deficit disorder.  With counseling, many of them learn strategies to live with and to try to overcome this disorder.  They first need to identify their own feelings, then get cues about the feelings of others.  Most difficult with anyone is developing empathy with people who think and believe differently from themselves.
     The ability to empathize  can be seen in young children.  As people expand this ability, they can understand others, even those who are very different from themselves.  Some experts believe that certain people never develop empathy which enables them to abuse, harm, and even kill without remorse or regret.
     We all have varying abilities to empathize.  Consider the advantages of a couple who truly has empathy for each other.  Image the improvement in getting along with friends and strangers.  What a better world we would have if we could empathize with people of different religions, opinions, and political beliefs.  Get beyond your self-centered world and stretch your understanding to the poor, the immigrant, and even your enemy.
     Don't let an empathy deficit become a handicap which limits you and your relationships with others. Try to walk in someone else's shoes.  Practice empathy.