Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Kindness

     Even small children know when they are being treated with kindness.  When parents are patient and pleasant, give needed attention, and show concern for their children's happiness and welfare, children feel loved.  Sometimes kindness is hard for children to understand when parents need to say no to their children's wishes in order to guide and protect them.
     As children get older, they need to learn that not only do we appreciate kindness from others, but that we also need to show kindness to others.  The Golden Rule says that we need to treat others just as we want to be treated.  This is part of being civilized, courteous, and helpful.
     Adults learn that in a way we must take over the responsibilities that our parents had toward us while we were growing up.  We need to be patient toward ourselves and be concerned for our own welfare.  Pat yourself on the back when you do a good job.  Forgive yourself when you make mistakes.  Discipline  yourself when you feel too impulsive or want to take part in risky behaviors that may be dangerous.  Be kind to yourself.
     Kindness has three paths: from others to us, from us to others, and from us to ourselves.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Choice


     Many people think that abortion is murder and should be illegal.  Most of them believe that from conception the fertilized egg is a person who should be protected by law to develop for nine months into a baby.  They hold the religious belief that God implants a soul at the time of conception.  If an abortion is  performed, the woman and doctor are murderers.  Punishment may be administered to them.
     Many other people believe that the fertilized egg is a group of cells that has the potential to become a human being and is not a legal person.  They believe that religious beliefs should not determine law for all citizens but are in the realm of opinion.  Other opinions should also be considered.
     At the present time, the law gives the woman and her doctor the right to choose.  It does not give the government the right to prohibit birth control.  Some people still believe the government should force a woman to remain pregnant whether she wants to or not.
     If you believe abortion is wrong, do whatever you can to convince women to choose not to abort.  If you feel that the fertilized egg should be protected even at the woman's expense, try to make her understand your point of view.  She may not agree with your religious opinions, so you need to voice other reasons for her to continue an unwanted pregnancy.  Try to be sympathetic and understanding.  Don't label her as a murderer.  Convince her with compassion.  Don't expect the law to change so that she doesn't have a choice.
     

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Hair

     Remember when Farrah Fawcett hair was so popular, and now the Jennifer Aniston look is being copied in every hair salon.  Add to that the fact that most women have altered their hair color with blond highlights or a complete dye job.
     We women need to try and understand why we favor these looks that take more time to wash, dry, and style, and are more expense with a variety of hair products, curling irons, etc.  More and more women in the media seem to have tons of hair in the newsrooms, on dramas and sit coms, and on reality shows.  Very few have short hair.  Many women seem to think they need long hair to attract men.
     At various times in history women have said, "Enough with all this hair!"  In the 1920's, women were abandoning puritanical standards, restrictive undergarments, and long hair.  The bob was in.  In the 1960's, women were entering the workforce in vast numbers, wanted to look professional, and were too busy for time-consuming hairstyles.  The shag and the pixie cuts were popular.  In the 1970's, Dorothy Hamill showed us the beauty of the wedge even when spinning on the ice. As women become more involved in sports, short hair seems more practical unless you want to become a slave to the ponytail.  Short hair can be  a relief on hot humid days of summer with time spent at the beach and in the pool.  Women should enjoy the outdoors without worrying about the breezes blowing hair in their faces.
     When women finally accept their natural beauty, their natural hair color, and practical hairstyles, they can become free instead of being slaves to their flowing locks. Go Short!
    

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Enemy

     Are you an enemy of someone?  Perhaps you have disagreed with , irritated, insulted, or harmed someone.  Something in your behavior has made that person consider you as the enemy.  When you put your needs first at the expense of another person, you have become an enemy.  When you believe your values and opinions are superior and theirs are inferior or absolutely wrong, you have become an enemy.When you try to win at all costs without regard to the opposition, you have become an enemy.
     For every one's sake, we should behave in such a way that we do not become an enemy.  A first step may be to try and better understand the other person.  We might want to find out how we became their enemy.  We could try to focus on our similarities instead of our differences.  If we want to erase the enemy label, we need to become more likable.
     If being an enemy is best for you, remain that way.  If, however, we continue to believe we are absolutely right which makes the other person wrong, we may never understand the complete problem or come up with a workable solution.  Everyone wants to be heard, to be treated fairly, and feel like a winner. Most of us don't want to be perceived as the enemy.

Friday, March 9, 2012

Separation


     Many babies and toddlers suffer separation anxiety when their mothers leave.  Later on, they learn that mama is not abandoning them and will return.  Mothers also feel anxiety when they have to leave their children and cannot care for them 24/7.
     As children get older, go away to college, marry, and move away, they need to develop a healthy adult relationship with their parents.  Parents also need to respect their children as independent adults.  We need to cut the cord and untie the apron strings.  Our lives no longer revolve around each other.  We still are part of each others lives, but the dynamics have changed.
     We may miss the way it was in the past, but we need to move forward to remain healthy.  Some families still live in close proximity and share frequent time together; other families are separated and only have occasional contact.  We all need to adjust and enjoy life just the way it is.
     At every stage of life, we have to deal with separation.   Trying to overcome the anxiety and avoid undue sadness is part of being grownup.    

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Misogyny


     Misogyny, the dislike of women or prejudice against women, has many causes.  Perhaps the male has always been physically stronger and proud of his power over the female, then views the female as inferior.  When religion enters the picture, God is often seen as masculine and fatherly.  In the story of creation, the male was made first, the female, second.   Then, Eve was disobedient after listening to that snake, biting that apple, and tempting Adam to do the same.  The female was supposed to be the obedient, submissive helpmate.  Many religions still do not promote equality of the sexes.
     Only in the last century have women been given the right to vote.  Only in the last few decades have women been given control over their own bodies.  Many people even want to take that control away.  They may not trust women to have the intelligence, emotional maturity, or morality to be able to choose what is right for themselves and society.
     Some people still can only envision women in two ways.  One way is the virginal or motherly image.  The opposite is (to put it in less insulting terms) the immoral woman.  Some men see women as objects to be used to satisfy their desires or as domestics to take care of home and children.  Some men seem to fear the independent, sexual female who only seems to need the male for fertilization or even worse, isn't interested in procreation.  Patriarchy could lose it's power. 
     If you want to insult a boy, call him a "sissy." If you want to insult the average male, call him a (insert insulting homosexual word.)  Men don't want to be viewed as having any of those feminine traits.  The female is seen as inferior.
     No one will admit to hating women, but misogyny often raises it's ugly head.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Two Ideas

     As children, we learn to stop, look, and listen before we cross the street.  As adults, we may need to follow this advice, look both right and left as we continue our walk through life.
     In order to fully understand an issue, we need to consider both sides of a topic, realize why someone would think differently than we do, and keep an open mind.  Some people only agree with those ideas that reinforce their way of thinking and even vilify those people who hold a different view.  If we only consider one direction, we may never understand the opposite.
     First push the stop or pause button to give yourself a chance to clear your head.  Then look and listen to the many voices around you.  Be patient with yourself and others when you feel pressure to narrow your point of view.  Often you don't have to choose one opinion over another.
     F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote, "The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function."