What makes you old?

Setting aside an aging body, notice other aspects of your life that can make you old.  For the most part, biological aging is inevitable.  We can stay as healthy as possible, but aging is part of nature.  Once we accept this aging process, we can focus on other behaviors that make us old.

When we label ourselves as looking old: skin changes, graying hair or hair loss, gravity taking its toll, and diminishing physical prowess, we begin to idealize being younger.  Don't concern yourself with what is only skin-deep.  By  accepting nature's way, we are  telling ourselves and others that beauty comes in many forms.

Becoming set in our ways can make us old.  Doing things the way we have always done them or how our parents have done them can cause us to become stagnant.  Remembering our past as the good old days may blind us to the advantages of the present.  Opening our eyes and minds to a variety of ways of doing things can keep us from living in the past.  Trying to understand the younger generations can broaden our minds and deepen our thinking.  

As they say, getting older beats the alternative.  Don't idealize the past; honor the present and be part of today's world.

   

ESCAPE

 Escape from and escape to.   Leave physically or mentally and go toward something better.  Escape from dangerous, war-torn or gang-controlled communities and escape to safety.  Escape from a bad relationship and go toward being alone or making a better relationship.  These escapes can save your life.  Escape from loneliness and make meaningful contact with others.  Escape from boredom, read, write, find a purpose, learn something new, create through any form of art.  Escape from stress, simplify or change your routine.  Escape from brainwashing and manipulation and gain confidence in your own thinking.

Some escapes may be permanent, a real change.  Other escapes may be temporary: vacations, entertainments, get-away-from-it-all persuits.  Some escapes can be healthy; some not so much: alcohol, drugs, empty calories.  Unhealthy escapes can become addictive.  

Perhaps instead of searching for an escape, our regular situation needs to be analyzed.  Instead of escaping, we may need to make changes in our lifestyle.

Prisoners often want to escape but are confined to make our society safer.  Sometimes, we have self-imposed limitations and need to create our own escape.  When your life doesn't seem satisfying or fulfilling, escape from what isn't working for you and escape to something that will help you accomplish your goals.

 

RULER

RULER is an acronym for the five skills of emotional intelligence developed at Yale with the goal to integrate social and emotional learning, to  create a healthier and more compassionate society.  People of all ages learn how leaders lead, teachers teach, students learn, and families support students.

Pay attention and recognize your emotions and how facial expressions, vocal changes, and body language reflect emotions.  Also recognize the emotions of others.  Understand the causes of unwanted or negative feelings and  promote positive ones.  Also understand the consequences of emotions.  Label emotions by finding the best words to describe feelings.  Express emotions appropriately and evaluate the best time, place, and way to be effective.  Regulate and manage your feelings to be successful and build your emotional and social intelligence.

 By using this RULER, you can benefit your own life and the lives of those around you.

Minimalism

 Many of us have more than we need, instead of just the essentials.  The less we have the more space we free up and the more time to devote to other pursuits.  The less we buy the more money we can save.  The less stress we have the better our health can become.

We allow marketing of products and services to manipulate us to consume more than we need.  Some ads make us think we are not enough, not cool enough, not pretty enough.  Promises of beauty and youthful appearance tempt us to buy products and services.  Promises of luxury transportation, tempt us to purchase the latest vehicle.  Trying to keep up with friends and neighbors adds pressure to have more stuff.  Stuff can become clutter and disorganization.

Money spent on needless products often only give fleeting happiness, if any at all.  The solution to all this craziness is donate stuff you don't need and don't buy more of the same.  As long as you have basic necessities and funds for emergencies and retirement, your life will be simplified.  Save money instead of overspending.  Get rid of debt and enjoy your freedom.

Consuming less is better for the environment.  Less trash produces a better cleaner world.  

As you spend less money on nonessentials, spend less time on what doesn't matter.  This will give you more time for the important things, the simple things of life,  plus time to relax, learn, and create.

Practice minimalism.  Less is more.

Self-Actualization

 After basic bodily and ego needs have been fulfilled, the highest level of psychological development is self-actualization as shown by Maslow's hierarchy.  He believed that needs lower down in the hierarchy must be satisfied before individuals can attend to the needs higher up.  The physiological needs including air, water, food, shelter, sleep, clothing, and reproduction are essential for survival.  Next come safety needs of personal security, employment, and health.  Love and belonging in friendship, intimacy, and family give connection to others.  Esteem is found in respect, status, self-respect, and freedom.  Self-actualization is the need to become the most that you can be, to fulfill your potential.

The documentary "The Secret" based on the book by Rhonda Byrne claims that self-actualization pivots on the Laws of Attraction: that is  think positively, and positive things will come to you.  Be grateful for what you have instead of focusing on what you don't have.  Next visualize what you want, believe it can happen and you will receive your desires.  Thought can become things. The fallacy here is that wishing even with planning does not always grant your wishes.

Many people around the world have a great struggle just to attain their basic physiological needs.  Those that are secure in meeting these basic needs may continue the struggle going up the pyramid.  Too many roadblocks stop their progress.  Those of us that are fortunate enough to near the top of the pyramid may be slowed toward self-actualization by our culture, society, and even those that we love.  Some people even dwell in self-defeating behaviors that stop them from completing this last step - self-actualizatiion.

We should realize that even if we get to this step, we should feel obligated to help our fellow humans attain all that they can.   Attaining this highest form of development goes beyond ourself.  Continue developing, learning, and creating all your life and help others do the same. 

Mystery, Magic, and Miracles

 Who done it?  What caused it?  Will it remain a mystery?  A real crime which leads to search for the culprit or a mystery novel read for pure enjoyment will present the clues.   Each bit of information needs to be proven true to solve the mystery.  Magicians can perfect tricks that fool the eye.  The existence of miracles depends on the belief of those involved, usually a belief in the supernatural. 

As mysteries present themselves, our imagination and logic need to prevail.  Science often reveals proof that the suspect is guilty.  Careful investigation can explain the methods of the magician. Possible miracles go beyond scientific proof and depend on the perspective of the believer.

Mystery, magic, and miracles often include a fourth m - manipulation.  Authors of mystery novels present clues, some leading to the truth, some misleading.  The reader's imagination is manipulated to follow the story until the conclusion.  A magician practices his illusions in order to manipulate the audience into believing the fantastic.  Some people believe in miracles that in their minds don't require scientific proof.  Their fellow believers reinforce the possibility.  People can manipulate their own thinking to sidestep logic.

Many mysteries will remain just that, with no explanations.  Science doesn't have all the answers.  Be careful that your need for answers allows others to manipulate your thinking.

Many like a good mystery novel or movie.  Some like magic shows.  And those that believe in miracles will leave this earth in hopes that the biggest miracle is true. 

To College Graduates

TO THE COLLEGE GRADUATES

 Question everything.  Think logically.  Consider your sources of information.  Realize every question can have multiple answers or no satisfactory answer at all.  Answers may contribute to facts or support opinions. Some answers are unknown, but still ask.  Some questions may remain in your brain, never to be spoken or written down for anyone else to hear or view.  Other questions may benefit from discussing with a trusted, non-judgmental friend, one who will keep your confidence.  Many questions require research, but always consider your sources to see if they are valid or unbiased.

Remember that your opinion is just as valuable as the opinions of others.  Even when you seem to be in the minority or perhaps you are the only person you know who thinks the way you do,  have confidence in your own intelligence and logical thinking. 

You have learned so much these past four years especially in your chosen field.  You have also learned many life lessons as you went from your home and family to living a more independent life.  You are still a son or daughter with very strong ties to your parents, and that is to be expected, but realize you are an adult with a separate mind; your parents are adults with theirs.  As a child, you valued your parents' opinions almost without question, but as you became an adult, you may have begun to value your own opinions more, even to the point of disagreeing with your family members.  You aren't being disloyal; you are just growing up.  Be sensitive as you present your ideas.  Your parents will also need to respect your thinking and value your journey toward being an independent adult.  All adults need to acquire the ability to respect other opinions.

Keep questioning throughout your life.  You may change your mind more than once as you gain more experience, broaden your perspective, and deepen your thinking.  Some of you will continue on with formal education, increasing your knowledge, talents, and skills.  All of you should become lifelong learners seeking answers to questions.

Remember you are not the center of the universe; you are part of nature.  Please do what you can to protect, sustain, and improve our world, environment, and habitat.  Also do what you can to improve the lives of your fellow human beings.

Congratulations on your accomplishments and live life to the fullest.