Where the Crawdads Sing

   
     In 1952, Kya is six years old, the youngest of five children, who live in the marshland of North Carolina "where critters are wild, still behaving like critters," where "biology sees right and wrong as the same color in a different light," where "man reverts to those instincts that aim straight at survival," "way out yonder where the crawdads sing."  In 1969, the body of Chase Andrews is found dead.  What happens before and after solves the mystery.

     After her family members leave one by one, Kya, still a child, becomes self-reliant living in the family shack, becoming a part of nature and using the marsh to survive.  She only goes into the village to sell the mussels she gets from the marsh and to purchase gas for the boat and other necessities.
     Author Delia Owens tells a story with style and substance of how we humans have the ability to survive, grow and face the challenges of life or choose a path that leads to destruction.

     

Mama’s Last Hug

   
     Mama, a chimpanzee matriarch, was near death, but when a biologist she had known for forty years came to visit, she showed joy through her smile, her sounds, and gentle strokes of his hair and pats on his head. She then gave him a last hug.  This demonstration showed emotions and feelings that all of us primates share.  Author Frans de Waal is a primatologist who has studied animal emotions and associated facial expressions, sounds, gestures, and behaviors.  Some of the many emotions all primates share include sadness, happiness, love, hate, anger, fear, disgust, shame, guilt, depression, pride, sympathy, empathy, affection, and sexual desire.
     De Waal states: "I believe that all the emotions we are familiar with can be found one way or another in all mammals." "Primates are made to be social, made to care about each other, made to get along, and the same applies to us." "Emotions can be good, bad, and ugly, which is as true for animals as it is for us."
     All primates including humans have many similar physical characteristics like having hands, forward facing eyes, and large brains.  We also have similar emotions, facial expressions, and gestures.  Even our behaviors are similar.  Frans de Waal writes about animal emotions and what they tell us about ourselves.

Values Shift

     As decades pass, values shift.  As phases of life are completed and new phases begin, values shift and evolve.  What was important may lose or gain relevance, be changed or downgraded.  New values may replace old.
     The importance of being in fashion may shift to comfort and practicality.  Some possessions and responsibilities may become burdensome and deemed unnecessary and a shift to a simpler life may be desirable.  As short term goals are satisfied, long term goals may become more logical.  What other people deem important may not matter as much as our own opinions.  Pleasing others may shift to making sure our own needs are met.  The list of what I shouldn't do gets shorter, and what I want to do may get more status.
     We learn to listen to our own voice and value our unique, one-of-a-kind self.  As we accumulate past experiences and our outlook on the future matures, we make better decisions.  A flexible and inquisitive frame of mind keeps us relevant to others but more importantly to ourselves.  We may improve our ability to influence others.  Wisdom enters in as we age.  We should appreciate it and not let anyone diminish it.
     Some of us remember learning to drive a stick shift and then later having the ease of  an automatic.  We still have to get out of neutral to move forward.  In order to move forward in our thinking, in order to evolve, our mind needs to shift gears.  We can value the past and honor our elders, even build on their wisdom, yet not value their opinions more than our own.  Use your freedom, allow yourself to go forward and let your values shift.

Half of us are women

     Women balance the population when given equal rights.  Too much power to men causes many problems and inhibits progress.
     On the average, men have a little more physical strength than women, and this edge may have started the whole thing.  The male could dominate the female, and she in turn assumed a submissive role.  When this seemed a little barbaric, men saw themselves as protecting the weaker female and providing an income for the family, but equal rights were still unheard of.  These ideas even persist today as the traditional family has the male going out into the world, developing his earning power, and being the head of the house.   The traditional wife takes the role of stay-at-home mom.  This situation can have drawbacks for the husband and the wife.  Being the sole provider puts a lot of stress on the traditional husband and limits the development of the wife.  Then when the stay-at-home mom tries to reenter the workforce after being at home for a decade or more, she often has a great deal of difficulty finding an appropriate job.  Families that can survive on one income have more of a choice, but many families require two  incomes. 
     Our society still has a way to go to encourage women to educate themselves to the fullest, develop their potential, and go out into the world.  Of course, disparity exists when the male gets paid more than the female for the same job.  Women are still striving toward equality in pay and opportunities.
     Patriarchal societies, governments, and religions still give more power to the male.  Often tradition and many religions still perpetrate this imbalance as coming from God, thinking He has set up these traditional roles.  Leadership positions are mainly in the hands of men who like the power and often have trouble seeing the advantages of equality.  The female perspective and positive contributions are often undervalued.
     Pregnancy and caring for very young children may create another prejudice against females.  Some occupations do allow sufficient leave for the mom and sometimes for the dad, but more needs to be done to allow parents to care for their very young children.  Affordable day care is a help, some even set up on the premises of the parent's employer.  When both parents work, home chores need to be fairly assigned.
     The mindset of the modern world needs to encourage equality from birth.  The young boy shouldn't be our "buddy" while the girl is our "sweetie."  Our education system is making some strides encouraging both sexes to develop their potential and think in terms of careers, especially those jobs that will be in greatest demand in the future that will provide sufficient financial compensation.  Our society also needs to encourage both sexes to be creative and contribute to society whether in the arts or sciences.  The simple solution: treat boys and girls as equal human beings and enable them to pave their own way and support themselves.
     Women are learning they must be proactive and make the changes.  Men and women must evolve beyond the past and into an improved future.  Better the balance, better the world.

Prophet

   
     A  visionary of a new belief, cause, or theory who may be able to predict the future.  Traditionally, a person who may receive guidance from the spirit world.  More loosely defined as someone who understands cause and effect in the past and present and may be better able to guess the future.  And most loosely defined as anyone with wisdom garnered from experience.
     Prophets, however, are not always believed.  The Bible even relates how a prophet often has no honor in his home town, in his own home, or among his relatives.  They often think he has lost his senses or gone out of his mind.  Even though a prophet always tries to tell the truth, those closest to him or her are resistant to what they attempt to teach.
     The process of becoming a prophet does not have to include spiritual intervention.  Intelligence, an inquiring mind, a broad perspective, and maturity can aid this process.  Most people have beliefs and theories that involve the future.  They may base their behavior on perceived outcomes, make plans to pursue goals, and avoid what may hamper future accomplishments.  They also may have the ability to have a positive influence on others.  Additional abilities can come from being a lifetime learner, from living many decades and experiencing many phases of life as parents and grandparents, as friends, as workers paid and unpaid, as witnesses to many years of history watching the changes in society and making comparisons how some things are better, some worse.
     Unfortunately, our society overvalues the young, often undervaluing the wisdom of the not-so-young.  The more mature generations have had the time to go beyond the beliefs they were  taught as children.  Some beliefs may have proven false; some may have evolved creating new beliefs.
     Just as in the past, those people closest to visionaries may not appreciate or accept their wisdom.  Have the confidence and courage in presenting new ideas and predictions, but don't be surprised when you find it difficult to get your message across.  Try to use logic and sensitivity to present your ideas when the time is right.  Remember that even the best prophets had problems.

Goodbye, Hello

   
     Saying goodbye does not mean losing the memories.  In fact, treasuring and protecting those memories is a privilege and responsibility.  A few years ago and even farther back than that, legal records, family trees, photographs, and more recently, movies and VCR tapes composed our record of the past.  The digital age has increased our record-keeping.  We can also tell our story in our words, verbally and in writing.  Deciding what mementos to save for ourselves and future generations is also a privilege and responsibility.
     Some goodbyes are out of choice; some are forced upon us.  Some are temporary, some permanent.  Time forces us to say goodbye to childhood, adolescence, and "youth."  As years go by, parents must say goodbye to their "babies," to their college-bound teenagers, to their "children" going away because of marriage or moving to other homes, even other countries.  Almost half of us will have to say goodbye to a spouse, a husband or a wife.
     Some goodbyes are beneficial, like saying goodbye to bad habits.  Other goodbyes are very sad and need a recovery period.  Adjusting to a new normal takes a lot of work but gives us an opportunity to renew ourselves and plan our future.
     Many people believe that we don't have a final goodbye, that after death, we will live in heaven and be reunited with those that have already passed on.  Others look to nature where everything that  lives, dies, and turns into small bits of matter.  Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.  No matter what you believe, we have to say goodbye to our life on earth.
     On a brighter note, many goodbyes enable new hellos.  Goodbye past.  Hello today.  Hello future.

"The Last Mrs. Parrish"

     Amber Patterson is determined to become "The Last Mrs. Parrish."  Mr. Jackson Parrish, however, appears to be a happily married man with an adoring wife Daphne and their two daughters.  Amber uses cunning, ingenuity, and manipulation to go after this man who has limitless wealth and can provide a lifestyle where she would be pampered and envied by all.
     Part I reveals Amber's story, Part II Daphne's, and part III the resolution.  Thinking you know what you want and doing whatever it takes to get it may bring many unexpected results.  After you get what you think you wanted, it may turn out to be something completely different.  "Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive!" (Sir Walter Scott, 1808)
     The black cover of the book could be a warning this novel has a dark side.  The cover also states: "Some women get everything. Some women get everything they deserve."  Liv Constantine is the pen name of sisters Lynne Constantine and Valerie Constantine.