MONKEY MIND

A very busy brain may have trouble calming down and focusing on the present.  The mind may dwell on hurtful memories of the past or worry about the future.  Difficulty falling or staying asleep may be a symptom.  The mind can seem like a little monkey hopping from branch to branch, chattering away and laking self-control.

A person may relive an event in the past and think "If only I had done things differently" or feel resentment about what someone else has done to you.  Fearing something in the future may make you dwell on "What if this or that happens" frequently going to the worse-case scenarios.  The brain may also become uncomfortable with present situations and experience stress and anxiety.

We all occassionally have one or more of these problems.  A few solutions may include doing some research, talking to an understanding friend, or contacting a professional for help.  Ignoring the problem will just be a postponement. 

Some say listen to the monkey to hear what the chatter is all about.  Even write down the words you hear.  See why he keeps talking to you.  Then have a conversation; yes, talk to yourself.  Try to calm your fears, disappointments, and worries.   Put things into perspective.  Easier said than done.

Recognizing this very common problem is the first step in taming the monkey.  

       

 

THE BIGGEST LIE

A person or organization may lie to us; we may lie to others; we may lie to ourselves.  Some lies are intentional: a little white lie to save another from getting hurt feelings, a lie that omits a detail of an otherwise truthful statement, a lie to protect or promote ourselves.  A flat-out lie, a complete fabrication, usually is meant to harm someone or give the liar an unfair advantage.  

Another type of lie is one that may have been perpetrated for generations or centuries.  People involved may not even realize the information is untrue. At some point in history, people accepted the information as true without using logic or investigation.

The biggest lies are the ones we tell ourselves.  Many influences combine to make us believe untruths: family, culture, business, and politicians.  Very tough to go against what your parents believe, what our culture values, what advertising wants you to believe and purchase, what politicians say to get your support and vote. 

An exaggerated self-image can cause us to believe overly negative or positive traits..  Accepting the truth about ourselves should be our goal, not the opinions of others.  Recognize our good decisions and behavior, realize our short-comings and do something to improve, and accept our natural appearance.  See the truth that we are human, not so bad and not always so good.  Telling ourselves lies prevents us from the truth. 

At some point on our journey to maturity and truth-seeking, we need to wake up to realize that some things we believe are untrue.  We may have to give up the comfort that lies provide, but when that is done, we can spend our time and energy on understanding the truth.  We may have to go against family beliefs.   We still can respect the beliefs of others and not try to persuade them away from their beliefs, but we will be untrue to ourselves if we pretend to agree just to promote harmony.   Don't lie.   

FEAR

Fear can control our feelings and behavior.  Fear can warn you of danger and save your life; however, it may prevent you from taking a necessary risk in order to forge ahead.  Sometimes, we can learn more about our fears and judge if they are rational or irrational, if they are based on actual facts or exaggerated  thoughts, perhaps even a manipulation from someone else trying to control us.

Think about what you fear and why.  We may fear the loss of something, our own life, the life of loved ones, physical and mental abilities, relationships, financial stability.  Sometimes we have control of preventing these losses; sometimes we have no control and sometimes we allow others to take control.

Most of us have the knowledge of how to extend our health and our life, but self-control may need to be strengthened.  We need to seek good advice and follow it.  Even if we do this, our bodies may still become ill and deteriorate.  And death may come gradually or suddenly.  

Throughout life, we learn what it takes to form and keep good relationships, to care about others as much as we care about ourselves.  But as we have heard, "It takes two to tango."  Even when we try our best, the other person may prevent the relationship to progress and thrive.  

As we accept the responsibility to provide for ourselves, plan our future, and become independent, we should pay our own way.  We may also add the responsibility of supporting a family.  Whether we are single or married, long-term planning is essential; however,  unforeseen situations can cause financial stress. 

Face your fears.  Some things will always be scary especially the unknown.  Be realistic and control what you can.  Don't try to ease your fears with false promises.  Instead, get the facts, put things into perspective, and be brave.

PERIMETER

A baby is the center of the family circle.  The parents surround the child.  The child often leaves the home for college and marriage, starts a new family, a new circle, and in time a new baby.  Parents become grandparents, a step farther away from the center, a part of the perimeter.  As long as the grandma and grandpa have each other, they still have their circle.  When a spouse dies, the remaining grandparent exists on the perimeter alone.

Only widows and widowers can fully understand this position in the family circle.  In our American culture, independence is valued as a desired goal.  We should be able to take care of ourselves by ourselves as long as possible.  Some seniors choose to live alone in their own homes or apartments.  Some begin to live in multigenerational homes with children, parents, and grandparent.  Others have adopted a new lifestyle residing with their own peer group in 55+ apartments, independent living facilities with many amenities.  Couples, widowers, and primarily widows learn to live together without the responsibility of a house.  

  

 Sometimes we feel just outside the family circle but are so thankful when we are included in family gatherings.  From childhood to adulthood to parenthood and grandparenthood to living alone,  we need to redesign our lives as we shift from being within a family circle to being just outside the circle on the perimeter.       

THROUGH YOUR SENSES TO YOUR BRAIN

 Sometimes you cannot control what enters your brain; other times you can.  Once the sensation enters your thoughts, it may be hard to forget.  Think about what you welcome into your brain.  Pleasure can come from a pleasant taste, a beautiful sight, an enjoyable song, a scent of a flower, a hug.

Our senses can cause us to be uplifted or lower us down.  Emotions get involved.  Repetition can help us learn and remember.  It can also manipulate us and form and change our values.  The food and drink we prefer may not be best for our bodies.  Viewing images that are too explicit or degrading can cause distorted values and prejudices.  Listening to vulgar music can cause us to normalize what is being projected in the lyrics.  Listeners may claim it is just fun, but a better choice is always available. 

Your brain is precious.  Your thoughts and emotions lead to your behaviors.  Use your senses wisely. 

SUPPLY CHAIN

 

 

From  raw materials to the manufacturer to the distributer to your home, how far does your stuff have to travel?   No wonder the cost is so high.  Some products are needed; others are wanted.  Confusion arrises when we think we need what we just want.  And what we want can be unnecessary, even trivial.

Traditions complicate matters.  The pressure to give and receive gifts especially to celebrate holidays, anniversaries, and birthdays can cause undue stress, energy, and money.   We train our children to expect presents on special occasions.  We want to see their happiness.  This probably will never change.

Commercialism aims to get us to buy stuff.  Even when holidays have religious meanings, gifts seem to take the spotlight.   Often, we want particular foods that remind us of family tradition and spend time and money on decorations.

We are indeed a land of plenty and  seem to want plenty of stuff.   Just stop and consider what it takes to get your purchases to your home.  

 

  

  

GENERATIONS

When you were born places you in a named generation.  Most seniors would be categorized into the Silent Generation or the Baby Boomers.  These two groups have much in common or so they say; however, any stereotype has its exceptions.  Seniors have lived through many of the same decades of world events and social changes, and many ways of thinking may have evolved as each year passes.  You still can embrace characteristics of many generations.

The Silent Generation lived a more traditional life.  They accepted things the way they were and worked within the system; therefore they were "silent."  They tended to be thrifty, lived within their means, and saved for the future mostly without the aid of credit cards.  Males dominated business, politics, and many families.  Women could vote but rarely ran for political office.  They seldom were encouraged to have careers outside of homemaking except for some traditional roles such as secretaries, nurses and teachers. When women realized they should have equal rights and opportunities, society began to change for the better.

The Baby Boomers were born after the Second World War and grew up with the idea that citizens could question the way things were, even protest against the status quo.  They envisioned reform and change.  Parents realized their daughters as well as their sons should be educated and develop their talents.  Society was improving.

No matter which generation you were born into, learn what the older and younger generations have contributed to your lives.  Realize your own generation evolved into the next.  Appreciate the qualities of each generation.  Don't get stuck in the past.