Don't Go There

     When you are trying to determine the why, don't go to a fantasy world, don't take shortcuts to answers not based on facts.
     Fact #1  Our brain power is limited, and we may never know the why of many conditions and situations.
     Fact #2  Our imagination and creativity may invent answers that aren't true.  We may alleviate fears and seek comfort from self-made explanations.
     Fact #3  Science can provide most reasons why: genetic predisposition, exposure to virus, bacteria or pollution, being in a dangerous place at a bad time, or other natural phenomena.
     Fact #4  We may not seek or may ignore truth because we prefer preconceived opinions which may have been handed down for generations.
     Fact #5  We may expect justice, karma, punishment, or reward to influence outcomes.
     Fact #6  We may want to remain childlike instead of facing the grownup world of independence, responsibility, and accountability.  We may blame or credit predestination and other outside influences for controlling our lives.
     The why may never be determined.  We need to live with the unknown while seeking the truth.  Fantasy, illusion, magical thinking - don't go there.

Diplomatic

     Being diplomatic can increase your ability to form and keep good relationships and influence others.  Traits include being sensitive and having the ability to put yourself in the place of others.  Being polite, courteous, and tactful helps when presenting your own ideas.  Finding mutually acceptable solutions helps maintain good relations.
     Diplomacy needs to be used in a variety of situations at home and in society.  Relationships between spouses and between parents and children should reflect the advantages of diplomacy.  Children will learn these traits which will help them make friends and influence people.
     Adults need to realize how these traits can improve relations with other individuals and within organizations.  We need to judge what we hear and read to realize the presence or absence of diplomacy.  When anyone presents their opinions and neglects to be diplomatic, their influence will be limited.  If they are tactless, offensive, intolerant, and insulting in describing people or different points of view, their power of persuasion will only inflame the narrow-minded.
     Learn the most effective ways to have good relationships, express your opinions, and influence others.  Be diplomatic.

Leadership

     Most parents do everything they can to develop their children into upstanding, productive adults, but they may not realize how they overemphasize being a good follower and neglect to prepare them for being good leaders.  Parents are the first role models for leadership.  Children observe how you lead at home and in the community.
     Leading young children may require parents to be authoritative, benevolent dictators relaying their knowledge, judgement, values, and opinions.  As children mature, they begin to realize that their parents are presenting only one or two viewpoints.  The child may begin to form thoughts and opinions of their own.   At this point, parents need to become less dictatorial and more democratic and honor and encourage their children to think.  This shows the child a different form of leadership.
     Some parents, however, wish to remain authoritarian and don't want their children to disagree.  They take pride in reproducing themselves. Some children will continue to follow their parents' viewpoint because they are never encouraged to think for themselves, a perfect setup for remaining followers.  All children should be taught and encouraged to be leaders even if their personality doesn't seem to show they are "naturals."
     Children and adults will benefit by envisioning themselves as competent and self-confident, while becoming emotionally mature and socially adept.  Each person needs to understand themselves and others by developing their own viewpoint while honoring many other viewpoints.  This will equip them to become leaders.  By understanding the group and gaining their trust, a leader can form and implement goals that will benefit all. 
     Parents, as you train your children to be respectful followers, also show them how to be good leaders.  Instill in them the courage and self-confidence to assume positions of leadership. 

Vet (v.)

     Originally, a horse-racing term, referring to the requirement that a horse be checked for health and soundness by a veterinarian before being allowed to race.  Vital signs, general health, physical condition, and signs of illness are checked along with the horse's demeanor, alertness, and interactive behavior.  Eyes are checked, plus a hands-on exam is done for any problems with muscles, tendons, joints, and bones.  The horse's stance and movement at various speeds are observed.  The horse is vetted to assure it can safely complete the race.
     Now, the word vet has been extended to people who need to be checked out before being employed, becoming a political candidate, or rated as an expert.  Physical and mental health needs to be analyzed.  People are vetted for their qualifications, honesty, integrity, personal conduct, and past history.  These background checks may reveal strengths and weaknesses, affiliations, and vulnerability to pressure, extortion, and corruption.  People need to be vetted to assure they are the best candidates for their race.
     Professional papers and reports are vetted before being published or aired.  Most of us trust that what we hear and read has passed some sort of previous, trustworthy examination.  At times, we have to do our own research and judge for ourselves.  We need to detect signs of  bias and manipulation.
     Whether we are checking out the ponies, the politicians, or the pundits, we need to assume some responsibility for vetting before believing all is well.