HOMETOWN

 Spending your life in your hometown has many advantages.  Your parents and grandparents probably live nearby, plus siblings, aunts, uncles and cousins; you can be part of their everyday lives and see each other as often as you like instead of just once or twice a year.  You are able to help each other.  You can keep in contact with childhood and high school friends.  You can raise your children in similar surroundings where you were raised.  If they stay in their hometown, the more the merrier. 

You can use your talents, develop a career, and benefit your lifelong home. You know the lay of the land and can easily get to where you want to go.  Everything is familiar.  You can witness gradual changes and improvements over the years and become a link in history of a place you call home.

Moving away from home may feel like an adventure or perhaps something you think is necessary for financial security.  Your unique talents may require another place.  You may move to other cities, states, or countries.  But is the grass really greener on the other side of the fence?

  

WARTS AND ALL

True love for friends, relatives, and lovers means you accept each other as is.  Imperfections occur in everyone.  Outer beauty fades, or at least our culture thinks so.  Youth seems to be the ideal.  When we notice signs of aging in ourselves and others, we often feel less than.  Instead of appreciating nature in its many forms, both young and old, some people want to keep their former younger appearance. Our culture often judges by stereotypes and practices age discrimination thinking the older generation is less capable.  Older but wiser should be the slogan.

Some imperfections in thinking and behavior can affect inner beauty.  Personality quirks may become evident.  Forgiveness may be necessary to sustain our loving feelings for others and ourselves.  

Warts and other physical imperfections may be evident at first glance.  Other imperfections may be noticed with time.  Say "I love you" to those you love, and just as important, love yourself just the way you are.  

HELPFUL CONVERSATIONS

Giving and receiving help can begin with conversation.  Sharing your problems is good for physical and mental health.  Perhaps something in the past is still casting a shadow on the present.  Maybe something going on in the present is upsetting.  Or worrying about the future is causing stress.

A trusted friend can help you understand and express emotions involved.  Just telling another person can bring some relief.  Just listening to a friend can help.  If the troubling situation is in the past and the people involved are gone, you may feel guilt and have to forgive yourself.  If you resent the way you have been treated, you may have to forgive others.  If the people involved are still alive, what better time to have a conversation with them.  If the troubling situation is happening in the present, a trusted friend may help you sort it out.  The same goes for anticipating the future.

You can help a friend; a friend can help you. 

   

HARD CONVERSATIONS

Friendships may not always improve after hard conversations, but the two people have the opportunity to better understand each other.  We need to have in mind what our purpose or goal is when we begin a hard conversation.  Sometimes people even try to avoid certain topics when they already know they have differences.

Some obvious difficult topics are politics and religion.  Some people believe in freedom over governmental restrictions or religious law.  Some people have opinions they don't want to change and get emotional over certain topics.  Some people have trouble understanding other points-of-view, and the conversation may turn into an argument.

Nevertheless, hard conversations have benefits.  We clarify our own beliefs and learn to respectfully listen to other opinions.  Hopefully, we can better understand other ideas from acquaintances and the many people around the world.

 

CONVERSATIONS

Going beyond small talk, two people can get to know each other even better through good conversation.  Each person should have the desire to learn about the other person and not be self-absorbed, more interested in talking about themselves.  We can find out about life stories, what happened and how they feel about the events.  We can see how these events led up to their points-of-view, their unique perspective, values, and opinions.  Of course, the conversation will go back and forth as we learn about each other.

Conversations can begin with good questions, and as we listen to answers, we can expand the topic by asking about the details and feelings involved, and about lessons learned.  Don't be too anxious to shift the attention to yourself.  

The person should feel that you want to understand their perspective.  You may find you have much in common.  Sometimes you will agree with their opinions; sometimes not.  If you both remain respectful, the conversation will succeed.  This is how friendships are formed.    

SMALL TALK

 After we form our first impression of a person's physical appearance, small talk may begin as we get to know each other.  Our first talks may occur as we participate in various activities: having a drink or a meal, playing games, sports and other fun activities.  We learn about families and common interests.

Making friends often includes just being there for each other in happy fun times and in hard times needing compassion.  Hugs included.  Sometimes actions speak louder than words.   

FIRST IMPRESSIONS

Often noticed first: size, shape, gender, age, clothes, face, hair, eye contact, body language.  In seconds, we form opinions which can be clouded by preconceived ideas, stereotyping and prejudice.  After we determine how the person looks to us, we listen to their speech: local or different accent, confident or shy, chatty or quiet.  We may begin to unconsciously compare the person to ourself.  

Then what they say adds to our first impression.  At the same time, that other person is getting their first impression of us. 

HOW MUCH PINK?

 

Pink often means feminine for baby girl or females of any age.  Mother love may also seem pink.  As women go through the various stages of life including mother to a baby or to an adult daughter or son, we often wonder about how much attention can be too much.  Often, we base our thinking on what our daughters or sons seem to need or want.  We determine what a young child needs, but as the child becomes an adult and has children of their own, they seem to be more in charge of our relationship. 

How much pink do they want in their lives, how much communication, how much together time: these thoughts come to mind.  The older we both get, mother and child, the more complex the relationship.  We remember the relationship with our own mom, but in many ways times have changed.  Many people don't even live in the same state.  Few people still live under the same roof.  Long-distance phone calls and snail mail are mostly things of the past.  We use smart phones and quick texts are more the norm.

We mothers and grandmothers have to adjust.    

   

 

RIZZ

Oxford 2023 Word of the Year, short for charisma.  We all would like some rizz, the ability to attract another person through style, charm, or attractiveness.  This asset can help us get attention, make friends, influence people, and even get votes. Internet sources give ways to get or improve our rizz.

Have good hygiene, be clean, well-groomed and physically fit.  Dress for success in your goals.  Have a positive attitude, be self-confident yet humble.  In conversation, be a good listener, make eye contact, be genuine and sincere, show your interest in others, their needs, feelings, and opinions. Think about what impresses you in other people.  

Some of our rizz may come naturally, but we all can improve.  

      

     

 

DECADES OF CHRISTMAS

The older you are the more sweet memories you have of the past which usually include family gatherings of mom, dad, grandma, and grandpa.  Next, memories may include a spouse, children, and grandchildren.  We appreciate having many years spent with family and look forward to the future; however, when grandpa, grandma, dad, and mom are no longer with us, when children marry and move away, when our spouse dies, Christmas can become full of those we miss.  We look to our children and grandchildren to help us make new memories.

My generation remembers when many of the holiday songs were played on the radio and record player.  So when we hear them now, we can't help but picture ourselves living in our childhood home with an intact family. When romantic holiday songs are heard, we can't help but think of our spouse.  Nostalgia can be both pleasant and sad.  When we no longer live in a family home, songs like "There's No Place Like Home For The Holidays" produce a longing for the past that can never be revisited.

Each decade seems to expand Christmas to last more than a month, more time to decorate, shop, and spend.   The old-fashioned, more innocent Christmas is a thing of the past.     

Many people enjoy all the trappings of the season, but consider how others may feel.  Even though we are thankful for the many Christmases we have had, we remember what we have lost.  The younger you are the harder it may be to understand the older generation.   You may only understand when you have lived through many decades of Christmas. 

TRICK OR TREAT

You can get a trick pulled on you or you can give a treat.  Today most people give a treat and don't even think about the trick part.  The joy of seeing costumed children makes us want to give them a treat.

  

Treat your family and friends with love and sweet behavior.  Don't put on a witch's hat and do the opposite.

RHYTHMS OF LIFE

 First rhythms: a mother's heartbeat and walk, a lullaby, nursery rhymes and songs.  Later on: dance melodies, anthems, holiday tunes.  Next: rock and roll, slow dances.  Also: school and team songs.  Adult rhythms: romantic and mood music.  Each phase of life has its rhythms.  Some rhythms change slowly and naturally; some out of choice.  Other rthythms change suddenly, perhaps not of our choosing.

A new rhythm needs time and practice to feel natural.  As your new phase of life begins, take each step with the most important first.  Take your time and proceed to the next.  Have patience with yourself as you try to adjust to your new rhythm.       

 

POST AND SHARE

 Using social media can be fun, but what we post and share reveals what we want others to see.  Individuals and families post pics and videos to show their activities.  Some posts may reveal our beliefs and values.  We may want to brighten the day of others or give them a good chuckle.  Sometimes we want to share our feelings.  Sometimes, political or religious views are posted in hopes that they may influence others.  Products and services can be advertised, recommended, bought, and sold. 

Unfortunately, some posts can go to extremes and become exaggerated, negative, or even false.  The effects may be on purpose or accidental.  Bullying can even show its ugly head. Some posts have rallied groups to protest and worse.  

 Take care in what you post and share.  Be sure you are having the effect on others that you want.  If you don't like someone's post, you can hide the post or the original source they are sharing.  If you tire of someones posts for whatever reason, you can delete the person completely.  Offensive posts can be reported.

Follow those you like; like, love, or show you care; comment if you wish and share with friends.  This is part of the fun of social media. 

  

     

INVESTMENTS

 When choosing an investment,  these three principles of a corporation should be considered: environmental, social, and governance.  The corporation should be concerned with environmental issues like climate change, reducing carbon emissions, pollution, energy use, waste, and conservation.  Social issues like human rights, labor standards, diversity, and inclusion should be important to the corporation.  Corporate governance includes relationships with employees, suppliers, customers and the communities where it operates, plus fair pay for executives and other workers, internal controls, audits, and  shareholders rights. 

Of course our investments should produce profits, but just as important are these ESG principles and standards of behavior.  Your investments should not only benefit your pocketbook, but also be an asset to the world now and for the future.     

LISTEN and SPEAK

 Many methods of communication are available these days, but listening and speaking face-to-face in person has many advantages.  Many decades ago this along with snail mail were the main ways to communicate, then the telephone, smart phone, texting, and email added to the methods.  

Perhaps the best communication is still in person.  One obvious challenge to make this happen is distance; we may not live close enough to easily do this.  We may also have gotten used to the ease and comvenience of sending quick brief texts. 

Surly, we still see the value of spending time with the other person.  The value of being with each other in the same room, the social aspect, the addition of sharing our lives with each other, body language, facial expressions, tone of voice are among the many advantages of communicating in person.  The quick back and forth in response to each other is easier.  The conversation can take many turns and the subject can change.

Those family members living under the same roof have many opportunities to communicate as long as they make the time and effort, as longs as they don't let other distractions interfere.  Friends and neighbors can also listen and speak to each other.

We all appreciate the convenience of texting, but hopefully this will not become our main way of communicatimg.  A phone call is one step better to hear the voice and expand the emotional connection.  Texting, however, does have advantages.  We need to stay connected.

Please consider the effect your methods of communication have on others.     

HOT

 Too hot for humans and many animals.  Our bodies can't tolerate continued heat and can develop heat stroke.  We rely on air conditioning to survive.  

Our planet is changing and we are at fault.  Extreme heat causes the soil and vegetation to dry out which creates the condition for fires to spread rapidly.  This further reduces the number of trees which help keep the atmosphere healthy.  

Many workers must perform their jobs outside; they aren't in air conditioned buildings.  Their work may involve creating and maintaining infrastructure or working on farms.  This allows us to travel and eat.  Many of us are crowded into urban areas and depend on others to bring our food to grocery stores.  

Become aware of what we humans are doing to our planet.      

GROWTH MIND-SET

 Both mind-sets can exist in your brain, but the more you develop a growth mind-set, the more successful you will be.

A fixed mind-set makes us feel we know best, that we want to stay in our comfort zone and avoid mistakes.  A growth mind-set makes us feel we can change our minds, welcome feedback, and realize mistakes help us learn.

A growth mind-set can help in our personal lives, in our careers, and allow us to develop ways to cooperate and even become effective leaders.  This mind-set broadens our thinking to understand ourselves and others.

TRUSTWORTHY

When you put your trust in an individual, organization, or company, you believe they are honest and truthful.  Hopefully, you have listened to what they say, observed their behavior, then made your decision that they are trustworthy.

In personal relationships with family members, friends, or prospective mates, an emotional component may sway your opinion.  In professional relationships like with medical providers or financial planners, recommendations from others may be helpful.  Trusting organizations may be more complicated especially if your family has belonged to these groups and expect your loyalty.  Putting trust in political organizations has much to do with the trust you put in the politicians.  In general, trusting our country and our democracy will help continue our survival.

Most companies, we hope, are trustworthy, and safeguards are in place to help keep them honest; however, the responsibility lies in us to research their reputation and advertising.  The products and services they provide should be reliable. 

We also need to be trustworthy, honest, and reliable.  As we search for truth, we can build trust in others.    

IRL

In Real Life outside the digital world, face to face activities can include communication between two people or within a group, shopping in stores, playing physical sports, socializing at school and parties.  Imagine all the different ways we can interact without technology.

There must be advantages to avoid real life.  Perhaps it is faster, saves time, more controllable,  can be like a one way street where no one is gong the other way.  We text at our convenience at a time of our choosing maybe getting a quick reply, maybe not.  Now it's up to the other person to reply whereas face to face, the conversation immediately continues back and forth perhaps getting more complex even bringing up issues we don't want to discuss.

Online shopping can be faster, save time, done in our own home when we choose, often delivered the next day or so.  Of course while shopping, we can't touch the item, judge the quality or be sure of the fit, but we can always send it back.    

Playing video games in our own home takes much less time and effort than practicing a sport and participating on a team.  Interacting face to face is not necessary.  

Surely we can also see the disadvantages of not going into the real world.  Reducing real life conversations and learning situations can stunt our abilities.  Misunderstandings can develop.  Malls and shops are losing customers and money and then workers may lose their jobs or transfer to big warehouses.  Delivery trucks and cardboard boxes clutter our environment.  Gaming in our bedroom does not provide fresh air, exercise, or learning team work.

Try to spend more time and effort IRL.       

 

 

DECISIONS

This or that, here or there, now or later, decisions need to be made.  Our goals will guide our actions.  A commonly heard advice is "Live your best life." You need to consider others who may be affected by your decisions, but each of us needs to realize our own goals and move forward.  Decide what is best for you.  

First, we consider our options, allow time to evaluate the possibilities, and plan our actions.  Talking to others may help our decision making.  Then, we need to see the steps toward our goals.  Others may not understand, may believe we are moving too fast, or that our decisions are wrong.  Some may misunderstand or feel our decisions are partially based on something they have done.  We can try to explain our thinking and hope they will agree with our decisions.

After we have accomplished our goal, we may be satisfied with our decision.  We may also realize the goal needs updating.  Our decision making continues.

HOME

For some of you, home is where you were born, raised, married, had children, and lived your whole life.  All around you is the familiar: landmarks, roadways, life-long friends.  Memories are attached to the same town and state.  You are aware of the many families that share your area.

Others may have moved away after marriage but remain close enough to easily go back home to see friends and family.  Still others may have moved far away, seldom seeing home again, perhaps returning for holidays and reunions.  Many married couples make new homes and sometimes move many times, and as long as they are together, home is where their heart is.

As times moves on, our spouse may die; our heart is broken; the idea of home almost vanishes.  We may then move to a new place to be close to our adult child or children.  That is their home, not ours.  Trying to make a new home alone is vey difficult, even though our adult children help as much as possible.  The new locale offers many challenges.  Nothing is familiar.  We yearn for home.

 

Diversity

Human beings have many similarities.  Our bodies are mostly the same as we breathe, eat, drink, see, hear, talk, and move.  We have brains that can think, learn, remember, feel emotions, and form opinions.  Our basic needs are the same.  Our race is often evident by skin color, our age is usually assumed, and our behavior gives away our value systems.  Many people notice how others are different than themselves before they think about the similarities.  Comfort sometimes comes when we socialize with our own "kind."

As we associate with more diverse individuals, we can learn more about others and about ourselves.  Our world and our comfort zone will expand.  We then can realize the advantages of getting to know all sorts of people.  Our schools should welcome diversity so children and young adults can be truly educated.  Learning about people different than ourselves, making friends, and appreciating similarities and differences will make us less prejudiced and more empathic.

If you have only been in the majority group, you may not understand what it is like to be in the minority.  As your associations become more diverse, you will be on your way to understanding the world. 

   

 

INFLUENCERS

 

Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, YouTube are ways to influence people who may click "like" on what is being promoted.  Social media comes through our computers and phones and we pay attention.  Even artificial intelligence can get our attention. Some of us may may be savvy enough to use technology to influence, but we all are influencers in our own ways.

No matter what our age or generation, we can have positive or negative influence over family members, friends, and groups of people.  We need to use strategies that work or our efforts may not produce our intended outcomes.  Persuasion is an art.  

We also need to be careful how we are influenced by others, even manipulated to do something not in our best interests.  Be alert to biased info and outright lies.   

No matter what you do, you influence others even when you don't realize it.  They are watching your behavior and listening to and reading your words.     

SPRING

Between winter and summer, spring arrives.  On the first day of spring, day and night are of equal length and temperatures gradually rise in the Northern Hemisphere from March to May.  Plants begin growth anew after the dormancy of winter.  Birds migrate poleward.  Animals begin nesting and reproductive activities. 

Spring also means to come up out of something into existence.  Also to jump suddenly or rapidly upward or forward.  As flowers spring up out of the ground, a new idea can spring to mind, then we can spring into action.

Spring symbolizes new beginnings and transformations, starting fresh and staring over.  Spring has sprung.  As nature begins anew, we can too.      

The First Amendment

 No law should be based on religion nor should government be based on religion.  Don't expect your religion or any religion to influence the law.  Public spaces and public places are for everyone.  Even if your religion is in the majority, the Ten Commandments, manger scenes, or other religious displays should not be on public property.  Prayer does not belong in public schools except when an individual wants to silently pray.    

No law should prohibit  the free exercise of religion.  Citizens can practice any religion or have no religion.  

Citizens have freedom of speech and freedom of the press.  We can freely speak our ideas and opinions and publish them on paper or in other media as long as we don't incite violence or other criminal activity.  However, the misuse of this freedom is vey difficult to control.  Public school librarians should be in charge of books made available to students regardless of pressures to ban certain books.

Citizens have the right to assemble peacefully.  We may peacefully gather together to be in favor or against ideas and opinions.  We may protest unfair treatment and laws.  When the powers that be don't listen and continue to treat citizens unfairly, people have to get their attention in other ways as long as they remain peaceful.  Some protestors become too angry, turn violent, and lose their effectiveness.  We need to try and understand why they are angry. 

Citizens have the right to petition government for redress of grievances.  We can contact our legislators and other officials and go to court to present our case.  We can also present grievances to employers.

The First Amendment exists for the benefit of everyone.

JUST SAY NO

 Many situations exist that make it difficult to say no.  Our own personality may make us want to please or to not rock the boat.  It may be much easier to stay quiet or agree than disagree.  Our society, our families, our friends and neighbors, those we live with and hold most dear, may influence us to believe as they do, behave as they do.

There comes a point, however, when our own inner voice must be brave enough to reveal our true feelings and opinions.  There may be a cost when we do.  Society tries to manipulate us to celebrate the many calendar holidays, to think and do certain things at specific times of year, often suggesting gift giving as a way to express love.  Families may expect us to repeat their traditions in order to be part of the group.  We often do what friends and neighbors do so we don't appear weird or different.  When we show our true colors, we may seem like a dangerous influence as if we are going against the status quo. 

Good reasons help form our ideas, and we need the courage to stand up for ourselves even if others don't understand or agree.  When others are open to hear what we believe, we can try to give our reasons.  This takes courage and fortitude to withstand the possible pushback.  Just say no to what goes against your feelings and opinions.   Better yet just say yes to your inner voice.        

LANGUAGE TOOLS

Maybe I don't have to write my blog; maybe I can have technology do it for me.  Now we have ways to ask language tools to write blogs, essays, reports, almost anything.  Plagiarism can sneak in and we can get the credit unless something can detect our shortcut.  Words and ideas received from these sources seem almost too good to be true.

We need to put more value into original thought and write our own ideas; however, even our own ideas might not be our own.   They may be echos from our parents, pastors, and professors or from biased or untrue notions we hear and read from the media.

Research is good, but we need to form our own thoughts and opinions, not just accept the words of others whether from human sources or from artificial intelligence. 

Privileged

 If you were born into a family with loving parents who had enough funds to provide the necessities, you already are privileged.  You did nothing yourself to deserve this status.  Some people may say that their parents worked very hard to have enough to cover their expenses, and that their families were not privileged. They may think that families who do not have enough to provide just don't work hard enough or are relying on only one parent.

If you obtained a higher education, you may think you studied hard to get that degree, but you may have been born with the intelligence to succeed plus had a way to pay for your classes.  Some people may think that many teenagers just waste their chances to do their best in high school and will only be suited for lower income jobs.  Many people may never have felt prejudice or been held back by a society who stereotypes some groups as less capable.  They may believe that minorities have just as many opportunities or chances to succeed as anyone else. 

Some people use the term blessed when they have what they need.  Some use the term lucky.  We realize that what we have is often not what we deserve or even what we have earned.  And those that do not have all they need have not always caused their own situation.  Many of us are privileged to be the haves while others are the have-nots or underprivileged.  Our society needs to give empathy, not blame.

Risk of Sports

If your body is prepared and warmed up, if your brain is prepared, if you are able to focus and at times relax, you can benefit from sports participation.  Some sports with no physical contact can be lifelong activities, like golf and swimming.  Many sports, however, require physical contact, and more risk is involved in sustaining injuries, like boxing and football.  Some injuries may affect the rest of the athlete's life.

Most people are aware of the positive aspects of sports, but aren't mindful of the negatives.  Athletes and parents of young athletes need to weigh the positive with the negative.  Perhaps another less risky sport or physical activity would be better in the long run.

Parents may believe their young athletes will receive the benefits of the sport.  They also may enjoy watching the accomplishments of their offspring.  Plus the athletes often get adulation from their peers.  The possibiity of financial benefits from scholarships, college play, or turning pro is very slim.

Participation in sports is one thing; being a fan or spectator is another.  Vast amounts of money is made from ticket sales to sponsorships.  So the value of many sports rests on how much money is made from the spectators.  Many of the more popular spectator sports involve physical contact team sports, almost like a substitute for battle.  Often the possiblity of the damage to the athletes is ignored.

One leads to another.  Sports most enjoyed by spectators may be the ones young people want to play.