Big Little Lies

     "Big Little Lies" include the ones people tell themselves and the ones they tell others.  Omissions and commissions, secrets kept, and falsehoods spread, all stray from the truth.   Celeste and Perry, Madeline and Ed, and single mom Jane seem to be living happy normal lives as parents of students at Perriwee Public School, "where we live and learn by the sea."
     As the women meet each other, they are the image of successful moms, but as they get to know each other, a more honest picture is revealed.  Celeste wants to leave her husband but pretends all is well.  Madeline is trying to adjust to sharing her daughter with her first husband Nathan and his young wife.   Jane is raising her son alone keeping the identity of his father to herself.  Both adults and children are keeping secrets and living with the consequences.
      Some lies were to protect someone, some were misunderstandings, yet some were malicious gossip.  Celeste finally realizes "all the perfect little lies" she'd told herself needed to be shared, "to say the bare ugly truth, to hold nothing back."
     Their lives are not as sweet as first portrayed.  Eventually, the lies are shattered, and the healing begins.

The Forgotten Garden

     An epic story of many generations residing in England and Australia is told primarily through the eyes of Nell, her granddaughter Cassandra, and Eliza, the Authoress.  As each generation tries to uncover family secrets, they discover old scrapbooks, notebooks, and a book of illustrated Fairy Tales.  These sources contain "the joys and traumas of forgotten lives."  Many characters also share their memories of  the past.

    Author Kate Morton reveals how Authoress Eliza used "bits of her own life by turning them into fiction."  People and events were inspiration for the fairy tales which later provided answers to many family questions.  Early on, an English garden and cottage were enjoyed by some of the characters but later is walled up and becomes overgrown.  After many years, the long-forgotten garden finally reveals its secrets. 

              

     

Instructions

    Instructions can be helpful, illustrating how various parts go together to complete a project, but sometimes we wish to skip the advice and rely on our own talent and experience.  With enough experience and confidence, trial and error, and persistence, the project may be completed without someone else's guidance.
     Many forms of instructions are provided to aid us in completing projects.  Personal instructions come from parents, teachers, and experts.  We in turn may become the parent, teacher, or expert.  Written instructions come in many forms: assembly directions, how-to manuals, books on improving our lives, and religious texts.  We have the internet at our fingertips.  We can also teach ourselves from observations and practice.
     Many instructions are obviously helpful and even necessary.  As we mature, however, we can better distinguish which instructions retain their value and which are faulty, need amending, or should be deleted.
     Our life is the biggest project, as we put together the many parts.  We need to evaluate the guidance offered by other people and other sources of information.  We can create our own instructions.
 
   

Who are you?

   
     From being a part of a group to specific unique details, we have many ways to describe ourselves.  We are mammals, primates, human beings, part of our family tree, born with an ethnicity, gender, and DNA, with a name, birthdate, birthplace, and given a social security number in the US.  Part of who we are involves relationships: parent, sibling, friend, and so on.  Other words describe how we spend our time: occupation, sports participant or fan, hobby, volunteer, etc.  We may include our philosophies: religious affiliation, political party, values, opinions.  We also may describe our personality, talents, and skills.  Some descriptions are directed toward a particular goal: college application, job interview, medical records, or impressing a particular person.
     When getting acquainted or developing a friendship, we reveal who we are and learn who they are.  Sometimes, we reveal our problems and seek advice from each other.
     Some parts of who we are cannot or will not change.  Outside influences beyond our control may change part of who we are.  If we have the desire to change some things about ourselves, we can set goals and try.
     Sometimes, other people try to define or label us.  Their opinions may be valid and helpful or distorted and harmful.  We need to have confidence in our own description.  Remember the wise words from Dr. Seuss.  
   

A GENTLEMAN IN MOSCOW

     In 1922 at age 33, Count Alexander Rostov is sentenced to house arrest in the Metropol Hotel in Moscow.  He resides there for 30 years believing "if a man does not master his circumstances, then he is bound to be mastered by them."  As an educated aristocrat, he uses his wit and charm, befriends employees and residents, and learns to survive within the hotel.  Throughout his life, Rostov learns that "every period has its virtues, even a time of turmoil."
     He experiences love from being a father to his adopted daughter and from a romance with Anna, a willowy movie actress.  His longtime friend Mishka was loyal from college days to the end.  Young Sofia said the Count was "a man inclined to see the best in all of us."
     Author Amor Towles shows us Russian history and how people suffer, adapt, and survive.  Hope and determination leads many of them to find contentment and happiness.  "A Gentleman in Moscow" is captivating.

What are we entitled to?

     Children and adults have the right to be protected from harm: pollution, global warming, abuse, and crime.  Sufficient clothing and shelter are necessities.  We need public education and proper health care and nutrition.  We need to be treated fairly with equal rights upheld by our government.  Having self respect and treating others with respect are requirements for good relationships.  Freedom of speech should be guaranteed for all.
     Every human being is entitled to these things.  When individuals are unable to provide these necessities for themselves, our society and government become responsible.  Of course, our first responsibility is to provide these things for ourselves and our families, but as a part of our society, our community, our country, and the world, we need to extend our concern and empathy toward helping others.
     Some children and even adults feel they are entitled to an overabundance of attention and possessions.  They want what they want when they want it.  They get used to having more than enough, often not appreciating the basics.  They may also become so self-centered that they don't develop empathy or realize the part they should play in their families and in their world.
    What are we entitled to?
       

   
     

Digging in Your Heels

  

     Or picture a stubborn horse digging in its heels, not wanting to budge.  Or people so sure of themselves they don't want to hear or do anything different.

     Sometimes being stubborn is a good thing.  If you have thought a certain way or done things the same way for a long time, you have made up your mind, and perhaps your ideas are right.  However, you might want to think about the reasons you believe the way you do and be ready to explain your stance to others.   

     Allowing a new idea to be considered may involve realizing the old ideas could be improved.  Easier to keep thinking and doing the same old same old.  But trying to understand other opinions helps us understand other people.  We may or may not change our minds.

     If we simply dig in our heels, we may get stuck and never proceed forward.