Instructions

    Instructions can be helpful, illustrating how various parts go together to complete a project, but sometimes we wish to skip the advice and rely on our own talent and experience.  With enough experience and confidence, trial and error, and persistence, the project may be completed without someone else's guidance.
     Many forms of instructions are provided to aid us in completing projects.  Personal instructions come from parents, teachers, and experts.  We in turn may become the parent, teacher, or expert.  Written instructions come in many forms: assembly directions, how-to manuals, books on improving our lives, and religious texts.  We have the internet at our fingertips.  We can also teach ourselves from observations and practice.
     Many instructions are obviously helpful and even necessary.  As we mature, however, we can better distinguish which instructions retain their value and which are faulty, need amending, or should be deleted.
     Our life is the biggest project, as we put together the many parts.  We need to evaluate the guidance offered by other people and other sources of information.  We can create our own instructions.
 
   

Who are you?

   
     From being a part of a group to specific unique details, we have many ways to describe ourselves.  We are mammals, primates, human beings, part of our family tree, born with an ethnicity, gender, and DNA, with a name, birthdate, birthplace, and given a social security number in the US.  Part of who we are involves relationships: parent, sibling, friend, and so on.  Other words describe how we spend our time: occupation, sports participant or fan, hobby, volunteer, etc.  We may include our philosophies: religious affiliation, political party, values, opinions.  We also may describe our personality, talents, and skills.  Some descriptions are directed toward a particular goal: college application, job interview, medical records, or impressing a particular person.
     When getting acquainted or developing a friendship, we reveal who we are and learn who they are.  Sometimes, we reveal our problems and seek advice from each other.
     Some parts of who we are cannot or will not change.  Outside influences beyond our control may change part of who we are.  If we have the desire to change some things about ourselves, we can set goals and try.
     Sometimes, other people try to define or label us.  Their opinions may be valid and helpful or distorted and harmful.  We need to have confidence in our own description.  Remember the wise words from Dr. Seuss.  
   

A GENTLEMAN IN MOSCOW

     In 1922 at age 33, Count Alexander Rostov is sentenced to house arrest in the Metropol Hotel in Moscow.  He resides there for 30 years believing "if a man does not master his circumstances, then he is bound to be mastered by them."  As an educated aristocrat, he uses his wit and charm, befriends employees and residents, and learns to survive within the hotel.  Throughout his life, Rostov learns that "every period has its virtues, even a time of turmoil."
     He experiences love from being a father to his adopted daughter and from a romance with Anna, a willowy movie actress.  His longtime friend Mishka was loyal from college days to the end.  Young Sofia said the Count was "a man inclined to see the best in all of us."
     Author Amor Towles shows us Russian history and how people suffer, adapt, and survive.  Hope and determination leads many of them to find contentment and happiness.  "A Gentleman in Moscow" is captivating.

What are we entitled to?

     Children and adults have the right to be protected from harm: pollution, global warming, abuse, and crime.  Sufficient clothing and shelter are necessities.  We need public education and proper health care and nutrition.  We need to be treated fairly with equal rights upheld by our government.  Having self respect and treating others with respect are requirements for good relationships.  Freedom of speech should be guaranteed for all.
     Every human being is entitled to these things.  When individuals are unable to provide these necessities for themselves, our society and government become responsible.  Of course, our first responsibility is to provide these things for ourselves and our families, but as a part of our society, our community, our country, and the world, we need to extend our concern and empathy toward helping others.
     Some children and even adults feel they are entitled to an overabundance of attention and possessions.  They want what they want when they want it.  They get used to having more than enough, often not appreciating the basics.  They may also become so self-centered that they don't develop empathy or realize the part they should play in their families and in their world.
    What are we entitled to?
       

   
     

Digging in Your Heels

  

     Or picture a stubborn horse digging in its heels, not wanting to budge.  Or people so sure of themselves they don't want to hear or do anything different.

     Sometimes being stubborn is a good thing.  If you have thought a certain way or done things the same way for a long time, you have made up your mind, and perhaps your ideas are right.  However, you might want to think about the reasons you believe the way you do and be ready to explain your stance to others.   

     Allowing a new idea to be considered may involve realizing the old ideas could be improved.  Easier to keep thinking and doing the same old same old.  But trying to understand other opinions helps us understand other people.  We may or may not change our minds.

     If we simply dig in our heels, we may get stuck and never proceed forward.  

                                                                                                                                     

              

LEARN

   

     Throughout our lifetime, we learn first from our family and then from everyone else who influences our thinking.  As our brain develops, we gain the ability to think for ourselves.  As we mature, we can better analyze the facts and opinions instilled in us as children, sometimes holding fast to what we have been taught, sometimes questioning, altering, or even deleting past concepts.  Fortunate are those who have been encouraged to think for themselves.  Congratulations to those parents and teachers who have fostered this ability.
     We are constantly bombarded with ideas and opinions.  Some sources of information are not trustworthy.  Often, we are manipulated to accept the opinions of others, to even turn off our logic instead of trying to seek the truth.  Frequently, manipulators appeal to our emotions and basic instincts in order to align our thinking with theirs.   Perhaps they do this with our best interests at heart.  Sometimes, they have their own best interests at the forefront.
      All of us are manipulators at times.  When we feel we have knowledge and truth, we may wish others to accept our ideas without question.  Parents prefer their children to agree with their opinions.  Advertisers promote their products to make a profit.  Politicians solicit our support and our vote.  Religious organizations want to explain the supernatural and keep us in the fold.  Many of these influencers believe they are doing this for our own good.  Responsible parents want their children to learn right from wrong.  Many products and services are necessary and can improve our lives.  Good politicians are essential to uphold the law and our democracy.  Religious organizations desire to save our souls and insure our afterlife in heaven.
     Our responsibility then is to learn whatever we can to help our thinking mature, to distinguish between fact and opinion.  We also should be aware of how we present our own opinions to others.  We need to teach ourselves and others not just what to think, but how to learn.

    




   
   

The Chaperone

 

      In 1922 New York City, Cora was the chaperone of Louise, a teenager from Kansas determined to become a star.  Two different generations with two different outlooks on life concerning outward appearances, behavior, and ambition.  "Maybe the old rules were changing."  Maybe Cora "was falling behind the times, as provincial and outmoded in her thinking as in her dress."  But on the other hand, the young "can drag you, as you protest and scold and try to pull away, right up to the window of the future, and even push you through."  Later on Cora realized: "She'd lived too much of her life so stupidly, following nonsensical rules, as if she...as if anyone, had all the time in the world."  After that life-changing summer, Cora went back to Kansas and Louise was off to Hollywood.

     Author  Laura Moriarty shows us the 20th century, the many historical events that affected Cora, Louise, and those around them.  They both lived long lives. "Louise had just been more open about it, not bothering to hide or deceive."   Cora kept secrets mostly to protect those involved from harsh judgments.  She realized "how much her life's ease and happiness had been granted by chance."