Essentials

 
     Everyone has limited time, energy, and money; therefore, what is essential must be determined.  Just envision those without the necessities and realize what is vital for existence: sustenance, basic clothing, and shelter.  Education, health care, and loving contact are also necessary for development.  Living in peace and safety without fear of violence is another requirement for survival.  Meeting these needs should bring a certain amount of contentment.
     When our own desires or the wants of our children exceed what is absolutely necessary,  contentment is difficult to reach, let alone happiness.  The amount of time, energy, and money spent on having more than we need lessens our ability to appreciate the basics of life.  Our self-centered pursuit of non essentials also decreases our ability to focus on the less fortunate.
     The continued question "What do you want?" is usually answered by things that go beyond our needs. Many people don't appreciate what they have and just want more and more.  Those really in need often find true happiness with a full stomach, warm clothing, and a safe place to live.  Of course, they want to be healthy and have the opportunity to learn and love.
      Many people around the world plus those in our own country and neighborhoods are in need of the essentials.  If you have what you need, help those who don't.  As you enjoy all the extras in life, keep in mind what others need and not just at the popular times of Thanksgiving and Christmas.
   

Above and Beyond

   
     Doing more than is required or expected especially to benefit others is sometimes recognized and rewarded, but other times is taken for granted or not even noticed.  Those in dangerous occupations, especially those wearing a uniform and carrying a gun, often receive thanks, praise, medals, and life-long perks.  We feel gratitude to them who risk life and limb in our stead to make us feel safe.
     The list of duties in the military is very clear, handed down from the tradition of each branch of service.  Police duties are defined by law.  Civilians, however, receive their list of duties from various sources.  Down through history, males in power decided who was to do what.  Some people believe our duties come from God, the Father and God, the Son as written in scriptures.  Our families often train us to follow a traditional list of duties.  We need to be aware of who designed our duty list.
     We need to mature and realize that we should design our own sense of duty, what we should and shouldn't do.  Some of our actions will be noticed; some will not.  We need to feel satisfaction about fulfilling our duties and also appreciate what others do to sustain and improve our lives.  Not to minimize the sacrifices of those in uniform, but those who work in peaceful pursuits deserve a gold star for going above and beyond.
 

Everyman

   
     Every human being is the same in most ways.  Philip Roth's "Everyman" doesn't give the main character a name and only refers to his relatives on a first name basis.  The character's life in most respects is our life, every person's life.
     His parents taught him their religion and way of life, but when he grew up, he made up his own mind about these issues.  His sibling was his dearest, life-long friend.  His daughter was his faithful, loving child.  When he finished his career, he had time to spend on his avocation.  Satisfaction was found in  contact with other people.  After his parents and a few close friends became ill and died, he began to have remorse over some things he had done and regret over things left undone.  "Would everything be different, he asked himself, if I'd been different and done things differently?  This is the man I have made.  This is what I did to get here."  "There is no remaking reality."
     As he began to face his own health problems and witnessed his body wearing out, he realized that old age is an unrelenting battle.  He wanted to do his best for his remaining family and friends and said, "It's best to give while your hand is still warm."
     One of his friends in the last weeks of his life stated: "If I can write this memoir, I will have told people who I am."  Philip Roth could say this about his own novels.
     I also believe this is why I write my blog.  I can show my family and friends who I am.

Band-Aids

   
     This useful product protects wounds and keeps out elements that might hinder healing, but the time comes when it is best to remove it and allow fresh air to finish the job.  An emotional bandage often has the same purpose.
     When an emotional injury or sore spot needs help to heal, we  often cover up the problem with denial, wishful thinking, or unrealistic cures.  When we become aware of difficult or unpleasant facts of  life, we often invent a way to hide from the truth.  We may need a period of time to heal the pain.  We may fear exposing ourselves to what may endanger our former thinking.  Sometimes, the band-aid stays on too long and can inhibit healing.  Sometimes, we do not allow fresh ideas to enter our thinking and prefer to live by covering up the truth.  Some band-aids stay on for a lifetime.
     Ripping off a band-aid can be painful but necessary to allow the truth to complete our healing.

   
   

Hoax

      

     

     A hoax is not just an error or mistake but a deliberately fabricated falsehood made to masquerade as the truth.  When people are too willing to believe in an appealing dream, they may become victims of a hoax.  They may be cheated of the truth.
     Those people or organizations who use deception to get your money, your favor, or your mind may perpetrate a hoax.  Many products and services are advertised with false claims.  Politicians may say anything to benefit themselves, besmirch their opponents, and get your vote.  The worst hoax is when your mind gets locked into illogical explanations of the past and unrealistic promises of the future.
     Even well-meaning, sincere individuals may continue their belief in a hoax.  Perhaps they don't want to give up their dream, or perhaps they fear even questioning the falsehood.  Don't be part of a masquerade.  When something seems too good or too bad to be true, beware.

Criticism

   
     At best, criticism can evaluate, judge both good and bad aspects, and suggest improvements to individuals, groups, creative works, and philosophies.  To be valid, the critic should have relevant knowledge of the subject.  At worst, criticism can be insulting and destructive.
     Before we begin to criticize, we need to understand the standards we believe in, what we think is correct or acceptable.  When something or someone is below these standards, we see a problem and perhaps envision a solution.
     When we are being criticized, we need to understand the motive behind it.  Perhaps it is unfounded, mistaken, mean-spirited, and hurtful.  Perhaps it is justified, coming from the best intentions to correct a shortcoming or improve a situation.  We need to be strong enough to handle constructive criticism.
     We also need to be our own critic, to be aware of what needs improvement, while maintaining a healthy self-esteem.  We may need help in correcting our blind spots.
     Some criticism can be revolutionary when long-held personal ideas or the status quo of a society is questioned then changed to a new perspective.  Sometimes, revolutionaries are considered troublemakers.  Other times, their ideas become accepted into the mainstream.
     Criticism is just another opinion. 
      
      
     

Allow Doubt

     No matter what you believe or what others want you to believe (supposedly for your own good) allow doubt to have it's due.  This may clarify or change your thinking (perhaps for you own good.)
     Doubt allows you to go beyond preconceived opinions, investigate other opinions, and obtain a broader perspective.  You can see things two or more ways, change your mind, or go back to your original opinion.
     Doubt may put you into of state of confusion by not having a defined opinion.  Discomfort may arise after being so comfortable in long-held opinions.  If you choose comfort over truth, you may float in a sea of illusion and drown in false ideas.  Being uncomfortable may be unpleasant but allows you to wake up to the truth.
     Practice doubt as a way to improve your thinking.