Adolescence

     We have all gone through adolescence, that period of growing up and becoming an adult which seems to be complete after the teenage years; however, a second adolescence can occur at a much older age.  Our bodies have been adult for many years, but our thinking continues to develop as we  experience the various stages of life.  Just like teenagers, we may go through questioning and even rebelling against the authorities in our lives.  We can evaluate all the influences of parents, peers, religion, politics, and society in general.  Maturity is not accomplished by just experiencing our teenage adolescence.
     As we get older, we often tire of thinking about alternate opinions and desire the comfort of having our minds made up about important issues.  We often realize that we may never have the answers to all of  the questions or understand the many mysteries of life.  Our opinions, however, are as important and valid as any others.  While valuing the thoughts of others, we need to value most our own unique grownup thoughts.

Act - Don't React

     Everyone has a good idea of how they want to behave based on their values and common sense; however, how we should act is sometimes derailed by reacting in a way that lowers our standards.  When some one's actions make us feel criticized or insulted, we need to first remember the person may just have another point of view, may not be thinking straight, or may be displaying exaggerated emotions.  This "bad" behavior from another person may make us defensive, and while trying to protect ourselves or show we disagree, we might react in a way that helps us let off steam but may actually cause a fight not even worthy of the original action.  Some people may feel the hurtful act deserves punishment in words or with the silent treatment.  This can just prolong and even exaggerate the situation.
     A better strategy may be just to take a deep relaxing breath, leave the room, compose yourself, and temporarily ignore the behavior.  This doesn't mean you are being a doormat but are just trying to postpone a reaction.  When tempers cool, the behavior in question can be discussed.  Don't let bad behavior from others cause you to behave in a similar or worse manner.  Don't react when it is better to act as your best self.  Remain grownup.

Gifts

     
     "The best things in life are free" like the love from a parent or child, the kindness of strangers, and nature's beauty and bounty.  Appreciating these gifts makes us less likely to want all the expensive things like the latest technology, high price tag clothes, jewelry, and toys, and the multitude of luxuries we confuse with necessities.  The cost of these gifts includes your time, energy, and money.  Try to avoid the pressure to shop until you drop.  Please give the most valuable gifts this season and all year long, the gifts of your love, time, and talent, and as our children enjoy getting gifts, be sure that they learn the greater joy of giving.
    
      

Resist

     We all know we should resist unhealthy choices and unwise financial decisions.  Overindulgence in what we take into our bodies and overspending beyond our means can cause big problems.  We need to strengthen our resolve to do what is right for ourselves and our families.  Temptation seems to increase this time of year as part of Christmas celebrations.  Advertising aimed at adults and children, store decorations, music, and "sales," all put on the pressure to buy happiness.
     We all want Santa to bring our kids new toys, but we need to help children realize that happiness is not measured by how much is under the Christmas tree.  Adults need to consider that giving and getting gifts may be a part of tradition that needs to be reevaluated.
     Realize the holiday pressure for what it is.  Merchants want your money whether you can afford it or not.  Show your love and joy in a responsible way.  Resist the temptation to buy happiness. 
    

Appreciation

  
     When people treat you well, you should be aware and thank them.  From saying "thank you" as a part of good manners to showing others we appreciate what they have done for us, we need to give thanks.
     To parents who showed us love, attention, and  good values, we need to give thanks.
     To other family members who give us affection and support, we need to give thanks.
     To friends who provide companionship and understanding, we need to give thanks.
     To teachers, scout leaders, and coaches who helped us learn, we need to give thanks.
     To doctors, dentists, nurses, and therapists who help keep us healthy, we need to give thanks.
     To community workers, librarians, police, and good politicians, we need to give thanks.
     Notice all the good others have done to benefit our lives and let them know how much they are appreciated.  This is the true spirit of giving thanks.  HAPPY THANKSGIVING !
   

High

     Often our spirits can take a dip because of exhaustion, stress, and unfortunate events.  A little pick-me-up can temporarily raise our spirits to a normal level: caffeine in the morning, a glass of wine at night, and a little sugar from the kitchen or in the bedroom. We can exercise, talk to a friend, play with a pet, or pursue a hobby. Unfortunately, moods can also be altered with nicotine, drugs, alcohol, and dangerous behaviors like overeating and gambling.  Addictions can take over lives.  We need to understand why we use certain substances and behaviors to feel good.
     Perhaps we don't appreciate our day-to-day lives, our healthy bodies, and the companionship of the people in our lives.  The simple pleasures of an ordinary life can often be taken for granted.  We sometimes crave a little excitement, something beyond the norm.  We feel a need to amp up our happiness and "get high."  If we could only set our brains to be up-beat, train ourselves to be satisfied and happy, and get pleasure from making others happy, maybe we could create and sustain a natural high. 
 

Nanny State

     Governments need to pass laws to protect and control the welfare of its citizens, but at times it can become excessive, almost like a nanny treats children.  The assumption is that human beings don't always have the mental or emotional capacity to control themselves or do what is in their best interests and in the best interests of the group.  They are not responsible enough, don't think of the consequences of their behavior, and need regulation to prevent unhealthy and unsafe behaviors.
     Some religions go one step further and say we have original sin and may naturally make bad decisions and have bad behavior if left on our own.  We need a supernatural father figure to help guide us to do the right thing.
     Giving up some of our freedom for the good of society may be necessary; however, we need to be careful about taking away the civil rights of others before considering the reasons and consequences.   Having a kind and protective nanny may be necessary for immature children, but wanting our government to alter basic civil rights based on religious beliefs is not what grownups need.