PERIMETER

A baby is the center of the family circle.  The parents surround the child.  The child often leaves the home for college and marriage, starts a new family, a new circle, and in time a new baby.  Parents become grandparents, a step farther away from the center, a part of the perimeter.  As long as the grandma and grandpa have each other, they still have their circle.  When a spouse dies, the remaining grandparent exists on the perimeter alone.

Only widows and widowers can fully understand this position in the family circle.  In our American culture, independence is valued as a desired goal.  We should be able to take care of ourselves by ourselves as long as possible.  Some seniors choose to live alone in their own homes or apartments.  Some begin to live in multigenerational homes with children, parents, and grandparent.  Others have adopted a new lifestyle residing with their own peer group in 55+ apartments, independent living facilities with many amenities.  Couples, widowers, and primarily widows learn to live together without the responsibility of a house.  

  

 Sometimes we feel just outside the family circle but are so thankful when we are included in family gatherings.  From childhood to adulthood to parenthood and grandparenthood to living alone,  we need to redesign our lives as we shift from being within a family circle to being just outside the circle on the perimeter.       

THROUGH YOUR SENSES TO YOUR BRAIN

 Sometimes you cannot control what enters your brain; other times you can.  Once the sensation enters your thoughts, it may be hard to forget.  Think about what you welcome into your brain.  Pleasure can come from a pleasant taste, a beautiful sight, an enjoyable song, a scent of a flower, a hug.

Our senses can cause us to be uplifted or lower us down.  Emotions get involved.  Repetition can help us learn and remember.  It can also manipulate us and form and change our values.  The food and drink we prefer may not be best for our bodies.  Viewing images that are too explicit or degrading can cause distorted values and prejudices.  Listening to vulgar music can cause us to normalize what is being projected in the lyrics.  Listeners may claim it is just fun, but a better choice is always available. 

Your brain is precious.  Your thoughts and emotions lead to your behaviors.  Use your senses wisely. 

SUPPLY CHAIN

 

 

From  raw materials to the manufacturer to the distributer to your home, how far does your stuff have to travel?   No wonder the cost is so high.  Some products are needed; others are wanted.  Confusion arrises when we think we need what we just want.  And what we want can be unnecessary, even trivial.

Traditions complicate matters.  The pressure to give and receive gifts especially to celebrate holidays, anniversaries, and birthdays can cause undue stress, energy, and money.   We train our children to expect presents on special occasions.  We want to see their happiness.  This probably will never change.

Commercialism aims to get us to buy stuff.  Even when holidays have religious meanings, gifts seem to take the spotlight.   Often, we want particular foods that remind us of family tradition and spend time and money on decorations.

We are indeed a land of plenty and  seem to want plenty of stuff.   Just stop and consider what it takes to get your purchases to your home.  

 

  

  

GENERATIONS

When you were born places you in a named generation.  Most seniors would be categorized into the Silent Generation or the Baby Boomers.  These two groups have much in common or so they say; however, any stereotype has its exceptions.  Seniors have lived through many of the same decades of world events and social changes, and many ways of thinking may have evolved as each year passes.  You still can embrace characteristics of many generations.

The Silent Generation lived a more traditional life.  They accepted things the way they were and worked within the system; therefore they were "silent."  They tended to be thrifty, lived within their means, and saved for the future mostly without the aid of credit cards.  Males dominated business, politics, and many families.  Women could vote but rarely ran for political office.  They seldom were encouraged to have careers outside of homemaking except for some traditional roles such as secretaries, nurses and teachers. When women realized they should have equal rights and opportunities, society began to change for the better.

The Baby Boomers were born after the Second World War and grew up with the idea that citizens could question the way things were, even protest against the status quo.  They envisioned reform and change.  Parents realized their daughters as well as their sons should be educated and develop their talents.  Society was improving.

No matter which generation you were born into, learn what the older and younger generations have contributed to your lives.  Realize your own generation evolved into the next.  Appreciate the qualities of each generation.  Don't get stuck in the past.    

 

ANTIQUE

 

Six chairs used by my great-grandparents could be considered antiques.  They certainly are old but may not be rare.  You may have old items handed down in your family but the value may not be in what you might sell them for.  They could be a part of your family's history but often have outlasted their usefulness, perhaps just taking up space in the attic.

The lesson may be that even though we are old, we don't want to be antique.  Our possessions may or may not have value to future generations.  While we are alive, let's hope that our thoughts and attitudes are not old-fashioned, that we can be part of today.  The style of our possessions may be out-dated and not valued by the modern-day world.  Our thinking can be up-dated as we age.  We can pass on memories of our past,  even our possessions that we have accumulated.  As each decade passes, our wisdom should increase especially if we allow our thinking to evolve and be fresh. 

If someone could not see you but only hear or read your words, what would they think? Would you seem contemporary or old-fashioned?  Don't become an antique.  Be useful and keep up with the times. 

DISCOVERY

Discover something new.  Columbus and his men sailed west to find a new route to the east but instead discovered another land.  This land was already inhabited by indigenous people.  These two groups of people had to discover a way to relate to each other.  America is still adding to this story.

Discovering something new helps humans survive, evolve, and get along with each other.  The physical sciences add to our knowledge of the world.   Social sciences help us understand each other and form better relationships.  As America looks back on its history, we celebrate heroes and events and also see mistakes that were made.

As we look back on our personal history, we may take pride in our accomplishments and at the same time, see mistakes that we made.  We can discover ways to change our attitudes and behavior and make amends.        

Always be open to discover something new about ourselves, each other, and the world.            

  

What makes you old?

Setting aside an aging body, notice other aspects of your life that can make you old.  For the most part, biological aging is inevitable.  We can stay as healthy as possible, but aging is part of nature.  Once we accept this aging process, we can focus on other behaviors that make us old.

When we label ourselves as looking old: skin changes, graying hair or hair loss, gravity taking its toll, and diminishing physical prowess, we begin to idealize being younger.  Don't concern yourself with what is only skin-deep.  By  accepting nature's way, we are  telling ourselves and others that beauty comes in many forms.

Becoming set in our ways can make us old.  Doing things the way we have always done them or how our parents have done them can cause us to become stagnant.  Remembering our past as the good old days may blind us to the advantages of the present.  Opening our eyes and minds to a variety of ways of doing things can keep us from living in the past.  Trying to understand the younger generations can broaden our minds and deepen our thinking.  

As they say, getting older beats the alternative.  Don't idealize the past; honor the present and be part of today's world.