Gifts

     
     "The best things in life are free" like the love from a parent or child, the kindness of strangers, and nature's beauty and bounty.  Appreciating these gifts makes us less likely to want all the expensive things like the latest technology, high price tag clothes, jewelry, and toys, and the multitude of luxuries we confuse with necessities.  The cost of these gifts includes your time, energy, and money.  Try to avoid the pressure to shop until you drop.  Please give the most valuable gifts this season and all year long, the gifts of your love, time, and talent, and as our children enjoy getting gifts, be sure that they learn the greater joy of giving.
    
      

Resist

     We all know we should resist unhealthy choices and unwise financial decisions.  Overindulgence in what we take into our bodies and overspending beyond our means can cause big problems.  We need to strengthen our resolve to do what is right for ourselves and our families.  Temptation seems to increase this time of year as part of Christmas celebrations.  Advertising aimed at adults and children, store decorations, music, and "sales," all put on the pressure to buy happiness.
     We all want Santa to bring our kids new toys, but we need to help children realize that happiness is not measured by how much is under the Christmas tree.  Adults need to consider that giving and getting gifts may be a part of tradition that needs to be reevaluated.
     Realize the holiday pressure for what it is.  Merchants want your money whether you can afford it or not.  Show your love and joy in a responsible way.  Resist the temptation to buy happiness. 
    

Appreciation

  
     When people treat you well, you should be aware and thank them.  From saying "thank you" as a part of good manners to showing others we appreciate what they have done for us, we need to give thanks.
     To parents who showed us love, attention, and  good values, we need to give thanks.
     To other family members who give us affection and support, we need to give thanks.
     To friends who provide companionship and understanding, we need to give thanks.
     To teachers, scout leaders, and coaches who helped us learn, we need to give thanks.
     To doctors, dentists, nurses, and therapists who help keep us healthy, we need to give thanks.
     To community workers, librarians, police, and good politicians, we need to give thanks.
     Notice all the good others have done to benefit our lives and let them know how much they are appreciated.  This is the true spirit of giving thanks.  HAPPY THANKSGIVING !
   

High

     Often our spirits can take a dip because of exhaustion, stress, and unfortunate events.  A little pick-me-up can temporarily raise our spirits to a normal level: caffeine in the morning, a glass of wine at night, and a little sugar from the kitchen or in the bedroom. We can exercise, talk to a friend, play with a pet, or pursue a hobby. Unfortunately, moods can also be altered with nicotine, drugs, alcohol, and dangerous behaviors like overeating and gambling.  Addictions can take over lives.  We need to understand why we use certain substances and behaviors to feel good.
     Perhaps we don't appreciate our day-to-day lives, our healthy bodies, and the companionship of the people in our lives.  The simple pleasures of an ordinary life can often be taken for granted.  We sometimes crave a little excitement, something beyond the norm.  We feel a need to amp up our happiness and "get high."  If we could only set our brains to be up-beat, train ourselves to be satisfied and happy, and get pleasure from making others happy, maybe we could create and sustain a natural high. 
 

Nanny State

     Governments need to pass laws to protect and control the welfare of its citizens, but at times it can become excessive, almost like a nanny treats children.  The assumption is that human beings don't always have the mental or emotional capacity to control themselves or do what is in their best interests and in the best interests of the group.  They are not responsible enough, don't think of the consequences of their behavior, and need regulation to prevent unhealthy and unsafe behaviors.
     Some religions go one step further and say we have original sin and may naturally make bad decisions and have bad behavior if left on our own.  We need a supernatural father figure to help guide us to do the right thing.
     Giving up some of our freedom for the good of society may be necessary; however, we need to be careful about taking away the civil rights of others before considering the reasons and consequences.   Having a kind and protective nanny may be necessary for immature children, but wanting our government to alter basic civil rights based on religious beliefs is not what grownups need.

Cost of a Child

     Young couples who discuss whether or not to have a family or how many children they want, need to be realistic about the financial costs.  New statistics show that the average cost to raise a child from birth through 17 is over $200,000.  If the child then goes to a public in-state university, the average cost of tuition and fees right now is $8,000 a year plus thousands more for housing, food, books, and other necessities.  The average cost for four years right now is well above $50,000.  This amount will increase as years go by.  Parents who dream about scholarships and loans, may face a nightmare when they realize the actual cost of their child's education.
     Couples who already have children can plan and save but still might not have enough to cover the costs.  Ways to pay for college can include: (1) Have the teenager work and save during high school and college to help pay the bills. (2) Have the student attend college close by and live at home.
     A child is very expensive.  Wise couples will limit the number of children they have to what they can afford.  If they want the child to attend college,  the teenager needs to know about the costs and ways to help with expenses if necessary.        

Childish

     We expect a child to be childish: self-absorbed, impulsive, and out of control at times.  A child's body and brain develop in stages until maturity.  Even teenagers haven't completed all the developmental stages until they reach their mid-twenties.   At that time, society expects grownup behavior.  Education and experience should help individuals to (1) realize they aren't the center of the world, (2) develop behaviors that help accomplish goals, (3) control their emotions, and (4) get along with all sorts of people in a variety of situations.
     After many years, grownups should have the wisdom to see the whole picture, not just the view from their own backyards.  They should be able to understand different points of view and realize everyone has shortcomings including themselves.  They should have empathy toward others.
     Unfortunately, we all fall short at one time or another of being completely grownup.  We may (1) get angry and lose our tempers or pout, (2) expect everyone else to adapt to us, (3) only see our own side of things, and (4) want our own way at the detriment of what is best for everyone involved.
     When you realize you are being childish, admit it first to yourself and then to those around you.  The next step would be to see if you can control the "child" and see the advantages of being a grownup.