FIRST IMPRESSIONS

Often noticed first: size, shape, gender, age, clothes, face, hair, eye contact, body language.  In seconds, we form opinions which can be clouded by preconceived ideas, stereotyping and prejudice.  After we determine how the person looks to us, we listen to their speech: local or different accent, confident or shy, chatty or quiet.  We may begin to unconsciously compare the person to ourself.  

Then what they say adds to our first impression.  At the same time, that other person is getting their first impression of us. 

HOW MUCH PINK?

 

Pink often means feminine for baby girl or females of any age.  Mother love may also seem pink.  As women go through the various stages of life including mother to a baby or to an adult daughter or son, we often wonder about how much attention can be too much.  Often, we base our thinking on what our daughters or sons seem to need or want.  We determine what a young child needs, but as the child becomes an adult and has children of their own, they seem to be more in charge of our relationship. 

How much pink do they want in their lives, how much communication, how much together time: these thoughts come to mind.  The older we both get, mother and child, the more complex the relationship.  We remember the relationship with our own mom, but in many ways times have changed.  Many people don't even live in the same state.  Few people still live under the same roof.  Long-distance phone calls and snail mail are mostly things of the past.  We use smart phones and quick texts are more the norm.

We mothers and grandmothers have to adjust.    

   

 

RIZZ

Oxford 2023 Word of the Year, short for charisma.  We all would like some rizz, the ability to attract another person through style, charm, or attractiveness.  This asset can help us get attention, make friends, influence people, and even get votes. Internet sources give ways to get or improve our rizz.

Have good hygiene, be clean, well-groomed and physically fit.  Dress for success in your goals.  Have a positive attitude, be self-confident yet humble.  In conversation, be a good listener, make eye contact, be genuine and sincere, show your interest in others, their needs, feelings, and opinions. Think about what impresses you in other people.  

Some of our rizz may come naturally, but we all can improve.  

      

     

 

DECADES OF CHRISTMAS

The older you are the more sweet memories you have of the past which usually include family gatherings of mom, dad, grandma, and grandpa.  Next, memories may include a spouse, children, and grandchildren.  We appreciate having many years spent with family and look forward to the future; however, when grandpa, grandma, dad, and mom are no longer with us, when children marry and move away, when our spouse dies, Christmas can become full of those we miss.  We look to our children and grandchildren to help us make new memories.

My generation remembers when many of the holiday songs were played on the radio and record player.  So when we hear them now, we can't help but picture ourselves living in our childhood home with an intact family. When romantic holiday songs are heard, we can't help but think of our spouse.  Nostalgia can be both pleasant and sad.  When we no longer live in a family home, songs like "There's No Place Like Home For The Holidays" produce a longing for the past that can never be revisited.

Each decade seems to expand Christmas to last more than a month, more time to decorate, shop, and spend.   The old-fashioned, more innocent Christmas is a thing of the past.     

Many people enjoy all the trappings of the season, but consider how others may feel.  Even though we are thankful for the many Christmases we have had, we remember what we have lost.  The younger you are the harder it may be to understand the older generation.   You may only understand when you have lived through many decades of Christmas. 

TRICK OR TREAT

You can get a trick pulled on you or you can give a treat.  Today most people give a treat and don't even think about the trick part.  The joy of seeing costumed children makes us want to give them a treat.

  

Treat your family and friends with love and sweet behavior.  Don't put on a witch's hat and do the opposite.

RHYTHMS OF LIFE

 First rhythms: a mother's heartbeat and walk, a lullaby, nursery rhymes and songs.  Later on: dance melodies, anthems, holiday tunes.  Next: rock and roll, slow dances.  Also: school and team songs.  Adult rhythms: romantic and mood music.  Each phase of life has its rhythms.  Some rhythms change slowly and naturally; some out of choice.  Other rthythms change suddenly, perhaps not of our choosing.

A new rhythm needs time and practice to feel natural.  As your new phase of life begins, take each step with the most important first.  Take your time and proceed to the next.  Have patience with yourself as you try to adjust to your new rhythm.       

 

POST AND SHARE

 Using social media can be fun, but what we post and share reveals what we want others to see.  Individuals and families post pics and videos to show their activities.  Some posts may reveal our beliefs and values.  We may want to brighten the day of others or give them a good chuckle.  Sometimes we want to share our feelings.  Sometimes, political or religious views are posted in hopes that they may influence others.  Products and services can be advertised, recommended, bought, and sold. 

Unfortunately, some posts can go to extremes and become exaggerated, negative, or even false.  The effects may be on purpose or accidental.  Bullying can even show its ugly head. Some posts have rallied groups to protest and worse.  

 Take care in what you post and share.  Be sure you are having the effect on others that you want.  If you don't like someone's post, you can hide the post or the original source they are sharing.  If you tire of someones posts for whatever reason, you can delete the person completely.  Offensive posts can be reported.

Follow those you like; like, love, or show you care; comment if you wish and share with friends.  This is part of the fun of social media.