SOLITARY CONFINEMENT

Nature confines us inside our bodies, but our minds can take us beyond that confinement.  We can reach out and touch other people with our bodies and our thoughts.  We can use our senses to listen, speak, read, and write.  Communicating our thoughts and opinions should be balanced with considering the thoughts and opinions of others.  

Some confinement is beyond our control.   Physically, it is almost impossible to experience the life of another person and other people cannot experience ours.  Empathizing helps.  Desiring to understand can benefit both parties.

We may consciously or unconsciously allow others to impose a confinement upon us like parents, peers, priests or pastors, professors, and politicians.  Their thoughts and opinions become ours often without question.  Many influencers believe they are doing it for our own good or are opening our minds to their truth; however, they may be inhibiting us from thinking on our own.  

Other types of confinement are self-imposed.  We can take our bodies and our minds into another place, another location, another way of thinking, but we must decide to do it.  Comfort and a sense of security may come with agreeing with those we love and admire, but we may be giving up our own potential to find our own truth.

Media can contribute to confinement..  When we limit our sources of information especially to those that confirm our already formed biases, a type of mental isolation can form.  We need to back up our opinions with good "arguments," listen to the opposition, and form calm, nonjudgemental expression.  We might not be able to persuade or change the minds of others, but perhaps we can expand our own thinking.    

Don't sentence yourself to solitary confinement.

RELATIONSHIPS

Dating, committed to each other, engaged, married, all these stages of relationships can add joy and love to your life.  Not all is easy; the more serious, the more effort if takes to make things work. 

A good relationship begins when each individual is a complete person.  Having emotional maturity, personal goals, and at least having a plan toward financial independence is beneficial.  Work on yourself as much as you work on the relationship.  Know your strong points and admit to your shortcomings.  As each person grows and improves, the relationship can evolve.  The next step in forming a good relationship is a balance of power;  one person should not be dominant making the other dependent.  Understanding each other is paramount, plus knowing how to discuss each others's needs and to compromise when advisable.  

Having a variety of relationships before forming a committed relationship is a good idea.  Casual dating can then lead to a more serious relationship.  You can learn which qualities you like in a person and which you don't.   Beware when a person irritates you; this personality trait may never change or even get worse.  Admit when a relationship needs to be dissolved.  Each one of you can have a chance to make a better match.

Being romantic too soon can cloud perspective.  You can be physically attracted to many people, but get to know each other before going too far.  Some say love is blind which often rings true.

Enjoy each other as you take each step in building a relationship.  

  

           

DAWN

 Dawn arrives when your part of the earth rotates to face the sun.  A short time ago all was darkness.  The sun brings light to all of nature.   The rooster crows and the animal kingdom awakens; so do most of us.

When something dawns on you, your mind comes out of the darkness of misunderstanding.  Light begins to shine on the truth.  Nature's way and logical thinking enlighten your life. 

Open up your mind and let the sunshine in. 

NO ONE'S NUMBER ONE

 I'm no one's number one anymore.  I don't have a one and only.  For many years, I was his number one, companion, friend, partner, and wife.  He was my one and only, my companion, friend, partner, and husband. We were a couple, a twosome.  Then he was gone, not of his choosing or mine, but illness and death took him away.

No one to remember our days and nights together, the fun of college, the first years of marriage, the birth of our children, tables for two at our favorite restaurants, having simple meals at home, car trips and vacations.  Only I have those memories now.

 When I wake up in the morning, he's not here.  When I go to bed at night, he's not here.  When I want the look in his eyes, the sound of his voice, his smile, his touch, he's not here.  No one can replace him.  I now must live alone.  I'm no one's number one anymore.

Many spouses will come to this time of life, to survive and go forward with a new plan, perhaps to sell a home and downsize, to decide where to live, to live alone perhaps for the first time since before marriage.  Some may wish to live with family; some may not.

 Our children lost a parent.  They loved him and miss him too.  They may be your only attachment to your spouse.  But it is difficult for them to understand how you feel.  Most of our children still have their one and only and children of their own.  Their two generational family is their priority.  Our culture does not encourage multigenerational families to live together.  It expects widows and widowers to remain independent as long as they remain healthy, not to live with their grown children, that this is best for  everyone.  We must honor our children's feelings and appreciate the time and attention they give us.   We will still be a part of the family.    

DON'T TAKE THE HEAT

Too much heat from the sun is damaging our environment; too much heat from other people can damage our thinking.  The natural protective layer of our atmosphere is being damaged by human behavior.   Our thinking is being damaged by misinformation and manipulation.  Humans have the scientific knowledge and logical thinking to combat the heat.  If a crime has been committed, we may deserve to face the heat of justice.  If we have done something harmful to someone, we must take the heat, feel guilt, face the consequences, and try to make things right.  If someone has caused us emotional stress, we may have to learn to live with it. Sometimes we can let the person know and try to resolve the problem; sometimes we may choose to tolerate the stress or refuse to let it upset us.

In many situations, we may feel the heat from  groups or individuals.  We can feel pressure to behave as others wish, to agree with what others think.  Sometimes we stay quiet.  Many people don't want to hear or aren't ready to hear an opposing opinion because they are so sure they are right.  They prefer confirmation bias, to hear what they already believe.  

What to do when your opinions differ from the majority, from your peer group, parents, or other family members?  The choice is yours.  Try to find like-minded friends.  Keep an open mind; let your opinions evolve.  Protect yourself from being bullied to change your mind.  Be strong and stand up for yourself.  Don't take the heat.

 

GENERATION GAP

 Youth, middle-age, and older want to interact and understand each other.  Many obstacles can interfere with the process.  We naturally understand our own peer group better than we understand the younger and older generations.  The desire to bridge the generation gap is the first step.

When our flesh and blood combines with our mate, we form a new person.  As we nourish the body, mind, and conscience of that new being, we should also teach them how to think not just what to think.  Don't despair when they form new ways of thinking, different opinions and beliefs.  They will incorporate their parents' generation with their own.  A natural gap will form.  

The times when we grew up help form our identity, but we need to proceed forward.  No generation is the greatest  generation; the good ole days were not always so good.  In fact, no period of history is really any better than any other.  Focus on the progress of each year as it passes.  Adapt to the present and the future.   Evolve as you add each year of life.

Nothing should be considered old-fashioned; it is just the sign of those times.  New things shouldn't always be preferred or feared or avoided because they are also the sign of these times.  If you get set in your ways of the past, you might give up the joys of the present.  Keep growing until your last breath.

Take the time to get to know other age groups and see what you have in common.  Don't dwell on the differences which seem more obvious.   Narrow the gap between childhood and adulthood, between adulthood and the elderly.  We were just born at different times.   The older we are, the more we have experienced, and hopefully the wiser we have  become.  Respect your elders and elders, earn the respect.    

LEGACY

 

More than your family tree and genealogy, write down your story and include pictures.  This can be shared while you are still alive and will be a legacy for generations to come.  Your life story is as valuable as anyone else's.  Admit that you want to be remembered.  Don't leave it up to others to pass on your history.  What they have witnessed is only part of your life. 

Don't get overwhelmed trying to remember.  Make a plan, take your time, but don't procrastinate.  Do a little bit each day or every other day so as not to exhaust yourself.  Use photos to add to your memories.  Remember you can add more later and revise before your final copy.  However you want to do it, just start writing!  As your life progresses, continue writing your story.

Some people research those family members who have gone before them.  The more information they find, the more they want to know.  Dates, places, and other facts can be found, but what a treasure to find something a person has written down about their own life.  Give this gift to your family.