End Up

   
     Many parents want their kids to have a better life than they do: a better education, to develop their unique talents and potential, a rewarding career, marriage if they choose, a child/children when and if they want one/them, a satisfying life, financial security, time for fun, a healthy mind and body, and a long life.
    Looking back on our lives, we appreciate the good things and accept what we cannot change. We analyze how we could have made better decisions.  We want to help our children realize the many choices they have and enable them to make the best decisions.  To end up like us may not be so bad; to end up worse off than us would not be our dream.
     Looking back on our parents' lives, we appreciate the good things and accept what we cannot change.  We may wish they had made different decisions regarding our childhood but realize they probably did the best they knew how.
     Whatever we feel we missed out on in our childhood, whatever we didn't do that we could have,  we may still have the time and opportunity to change the way we want to end up.

The Brain

 
     The PBS series "The Brain with David Eagleman" shows how the brain perceives reality, contains our thoughts, emotions, memories, and personality, controls unconscious and conscious actions, coordinates reason and emotion to make decisions, enables social interaction, and gives us the power to design the future.                                                               .
     Eyes receive light, ears receive sound, all our sensors send signals to the brain which makes sense of it all.  We take in what we need to know.  Reality is whatever your brain tells you it is.
     Humans are born helpless taking longer than any other species to become adult, but we have superior power to learn and adapt.  Our brain forms thoughts, emotions, memories, and personality.  Our predetermined genetic schedule enables us to develop and focus.  Throughout our teen years, we learn to make better judgments, control impulses, and avoid unwise risks.  Memories accumulate, fade with time, and are sometimes unreliable.  Our genes, experiences, and memories are unique.  No one like you has ever existed or ever will live again.  Cradle to grave, we are works in progress.
     The brain controls actions, decisions, and beliefs.  Automatic, unconscious operations enable our organs and muscles to function "without thinking."  We consciously organize our thoughts, make choices, and become long-term planners.  Input from our DNA plus our environment of family, friends, and culture combine to form belief systems in our brain.
     Reason and emotion systems work together in the brain.  We place value and prioritize options in order to make decisions.  Our genes pre-program us to be conservative or liberal, to make predictions, and to resist or suppress instant gratification.  Decisions are made in the brain.
     We are social creatures and are wired to help each other.  We learn how to communicate, to judge other people's intentions, and to trust.  Our abilities to form social skills, read body language, and develop empathy reside in the brain.  Belonging to a group promotes comfort and survival; however, identifying with our "in group" (same race, wealth, and religion) can make us not care, avoid, or even dehumanized our "out group."  Propaganda can warp opinions and promote hate of those groups different from our own.  If our species is to survive, we need to care about each other.
     100,000 years ago, humans were primitive hunters and gatherers.  Evolution enabled our brains to have flexibility, to think of multiple things at once.  The brain has plasticity to change and reorganize itself, to learn and remember new things, and to adapt to compensate for lost function in the event of brain injuries.  We still can be fooled by dreams while asleep, but within seconds after we awaken, our brain receives sensory signals, our body functions, we think, remember, and plan.  Humans have invented technologies that can expand the senses, replace body parts, and extend life.  Through computer technology, we have invented artificial intelligence, artificial brains.  Who we become in the future is up to us.

Copycat

     Babies naturally copy language and behavior which is a good thing.  Teenagers often want to be different from their parents' generation then copy the fads of their peer group.  Adults need to be aware when they are still copying their peer group instead of thoughtfully forming their own beliefs and behavior.  We can become the product of group mentality which may or may not be the best use of our time, talent, and energy.
     Copycats follow the lead of others and imitate their beliefs and actions.  From dumping ice water over their heads to mindlessly repeating family and religious traditions, we are following instead of creating a more meaningful life.  Being comfortable and not rocking the boat often supersedes taking the time to think before we act, plan before we fall into line, and analyze the systems laid out by family and friends.
     Show your children by example how to resist fads and meaningless traditions, and when they are old enough, encourage them to be independent even when it means going against what you expect them to do.  They will respect you more when you respect them.  If we want leaders instead of followers, if we want original thinkers and courageous planners, we must discourage copycat behavior.
     Don't be one of the dim bulbs.  Let your unique light shine.
  

Illusions

      Our senses occasionally give us deceptive impressions: a mirage in the desert, a magic trick, electronic music sounding like "real" instruments, food tasting "just like chicken," chemicals making air and clothes smell clean.
     Our imagination can also cause us to confuse fact and fiction which can be entertaining, self-deluding, or dangerous.  Physical and mental conditions can cause hallucinations, seeing or experiencing what is not really there.
     We may have illusions about other people and our relationships.  Others may intentionally want us to see things their way, to trust them more than our own good sense.   We may want to create our own illusions by using products that promise to make us look taller, thinner, and younger.  We may pretend or hide the truth about our lives.
     Some illusions settle into our brains so deeply that we consider them facts.  Fantasy and wishful thinking can block reality.  Try to break through your illusions.

Hooked

     Bait on the hook causes a fish to bite into something then get trapped even unto death.  This physical bait, a real piece of protein or a plastic replica, lures the fish to grab onto something that has an underlying danger.  The hope of satisfying hunger is dashed.  A fish doesn't have the ability to recognize the hook.  Good for the fisherman; bad for the fish.
     Our basic needs must be satisfied, but often we latch onto bait and get trapped into false promises.  If we don't learn to recognize reality, we get hooked on dangerous thinking.  Bait comes in different forms, usually promising to satisfy needs or creating needs that don't really exist.  Advertising for products and services, propaganda to form opinions, campaigns for politicians, and emotional pressure from family, friends, and religion, all use bait to get us to believe a certain way.  When we believe the bait satisfies our needs, we may ignore reality and buy into something that is a waste of time and money. We may get hooked.
     Getting unhooked is very difficult.  We may have to evaluate preconceived notions, set aside prejudices, form new opinions, and redesign our behavior.  We do have the ability to recognize the hook.  Good for everybody.
 

Off The Deep End

     The deep end of the pool is for swimmers only.  Jumping into anything before you are ready could cause you to be in over your head.  You may go off the deep end with illogical thinking or extreme emotions.  You may judge others who seem to have gone there.
     When the deep end seems so appealing, perhaps a respite from reality, we may choose to dive in and encourage others to follow.  Other people may also encourage us to jump into something without thinking.  Reality can seem so harsh that we want to go places in our mind to get relief.  Instead of learning to live within the confines of our natural environment, we may yearn for a shortcut to avoid logical thinking.
    The better we learn to swim, the better we will survive.  The better we learn to think, the better we will handle the challenges of life.  The more emotionally mature we become, the better we will act like rational adults.  Beware that you don't go off the deep end.

November

  
     Our harvest celebration is Thanksgiving.  Even though we now have access to food all year long, we gather together on this day and have a feast.  Our traditions include retelling the myth of the first Thanksgiving and having some of the foods we think they ate that day like turkey, cranberries, and pumpkin.  Often the real history of our country's early years is white-washed.  We pale-faces enjoy our myths.
    The first immigrants left the old world to have freedom and a fresh start.  The Indians taught the Pilgrims ways to live off the land, but the newcomers treated the indigenous people very badly and continued to do so for many generations.
     The new world allowed freedom of religion, and today many people add religious meaning to this feast day, thanking and praising God from whom all blessing flow.  We should share our abundance so that no one goes hungry on this day or any other day.  Inequality of income enables some people to have more to be thankful for than others.  You may believe that God will provide, but we must help provide for each other.
    We should remember that all of us were immigrants a few generations ago, and many other people of the world want that status now.   Praise our country who can offer freedom and sustenance to all.  Please support and vote for government representatives who will do something positive about immigration reform and income inequality.